UR Joking
UR Joking
How to telepathically kill someone who doesn’t know how to mute their zoom microphone
If they had only turned off their mic, things would be different — but the idiocy is unforgivable. They must be the sacrificial lamb.
UR Joking
An open letter to the girl we saw pick her nose on Zoom
Thanks to Zoom we are, despite our physical distance, now closer to our peers than ever before. And it turns out being close to our peers fucking sucks.
UR Joking
What do Sports Editors do when there are no sports?
Normally my duties include watching sports, talking to people who play sports, and writing about sports. These days I mostly just watch cockroach racing.
UR Joking
UR seniors excited to watch virtual commencement with their parents, painfully hungover
Students claim that being hungover for virtual commencement would not be noticeably different from a traditional in-person ceremony.
Narratives
Zoom class derailed by UR student’s dog
At first, aside from the occasional student from a different university using the wrong Zoom link, everything was normal. Then the dog entered the picture.
Narratives
Demon Girl: Sick as Hell 2, COVID-boogaloo
I’ve heard a lot of people describing the coronavirus situation as “hell.” Sorry friends, but Hell is much worse. I know from experience.
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UR Joking
CS class becomes sentient after move to Zoom, immediately starts watching porn
CSC 214: Intro to Nifty Computer Tricks was seen recognizing its own reflection in mirrors and also watching porn.
UR Joking
Letter to the Editor: In further defense of coronas
“People are buying up all of everything in the stores: toilet paper, smoked meats, puppies. So I bought 48 bottles of Corona.”
UR Joking
Heartbreaking: Without PRR, UR student must procrastinate in parent’s basement
“Well just because I don’t have pretty surroundings like the PRR doesn’t mean I can’t still spend 40 minutes making the perfect Instagram story post to show how productive and hardworking I am with my aesthetic notes.”
Narratives
How I learned to stop worrying and love the sqURm
Armed with an R&D survey and a budget of $0, I set out to create a new mascot for UR's largest demographic: those nerds who failed the Pacer Test.
