UR Joking
Political Comedy
Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”
“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.
Satire
Letter to the Editor: In Defense of Coronas
Why does everyone keep talking about Coronas coming from China? It’s definitely a Mexican beer. My Mom says I go to a New Ivy and am very intelligent.
movies
The Official Campus Times Alternative Oscars
In the interest of helping the Academy understand what it missed, CT has assembled a worthy alternative. Presenting... the first nominees for the Wilfords!
UR Joking
UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week
The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments.
UR Joking
Student plans on wearing same blue-and-white striped shirt (wrinkled, no tie) to three Formals
Sophomore and Kendrick Hall resident Nathan LaGuardia-Karsh said he came to this decision after absolutely no soul-searching or consideration.
UR Joking
Just finals things: stories from the library
Deep within the stacks, first-year Rudolph Redmond's shoulders were low and his neck bent. The ghosts of Webworks past seemed to haunt him.
CT Feet
CT Feet: Open letter to UR’s toe neanderthals
We can’t continue to fake surprise at outbreaks of foot-mouth disease when Brad over here keeps rubbing his athlete’s foot all over the classroom walls.
CT Feet
CT Feet: I kidnap other students and steal their shoes, and you should too
Kidnapping (or as we say in the industry, “assisted vacation”) can be an exciting way to make quick cash, as well as some new friends!
drugs
Confused student learns that snow is not just a euphemism for cocaine
The would-be snow dealer, whose request for anonymity the Campus Times granted, hails from New Orleans, which may explain his confusion.
Meridians
Meridians walk forward into the future
“This is a total game-changer,” said Meridians leader Kim Crosby, "especially after the first generation of Meridians all stumbled like baby gazelles."
