UR Joking
Narratives
Zoom class derailed by UR student’s dog
At first, aside from the occasional student from a different university using the wrong Zoom link, everything was normal. Then the dog entered the picture.
Narratives
Demon Girl: Sick as Hell 2, COVID-boogaloo
I’ve heard a lot of people describing the coronavirus situation as “hell.” Sorry friends, but Hell is much worse. I know from experience.
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UR Joking
CS class becomes sentient after move to Zoom, immediately starts watching porn
CSC 214: Intro to Nifty Computer Tricks was seen recognizing its own reflection in mirrors and also watching porn.
UR Joking
Letter to the Editor: In further defense of coronas
“People are buying up all of everything in the stores: toilet paper, smoked meats, puppies. So I bought 48 bottles of Corona.”
UR Joking
Heartbreaking: Without PRR, UR student must procrastinate in parent’s basement
“Well just because I don’t have pretty surroundings like the PRR doesn’t mean I can’t still spend 40 minutes making the perfect Instagram story post to show how productive and hardworking I am with my aesthetic notes.”
Narratives
How I learned to stop worrying and love the sqURm
Armed with an R&D survey and a budget of $0, I set out to create a new mascot for UR's largest demographic: those nerds who failed the Pacer Test.
UR Joking
No one is coming to save you because Danny DeVito has never thought about UR
Danny DeVito, that glorious 4-foot-10-inch ball of pure sex and charisma, is the closest thing we have to a savior. But even he's not coming to save us.
Narratives
Roommate leaves raw beef on counter, disappears for weeks
When I came back, she was gone. All that remained was the faint smell of fermentation and a large hunk of ground beef on the counter. Raw. Bare.
Comics
On the origin of species
All species find their niche in nature. As this new comic from Rukayat Akinola and Luis Ortiz shows, some species find their niche outside of the classroom.
UR Joking
Eastman statue cries tears of blood, screams “Retribution will come when least expected”
When approached by CT for comment on any supernatural threat the statue might pose, Public Safety replied, “If you think we give a shit, you’re high.”
