UR Joking
UR Joking
Tips and tricks to acquire a declining daddy
Success is not guaranteed. Results may vary. Talk to your Doctor (Chatbot) if you think a Declining Daddy may be right for you.
UR Joking
Junior sets prestigious record for amount of student organization rejections
As of this semester, a Rochester junior has successfully been rejected from all 359 clubs and organizations on campus. Chad Spike, who wished to remain anomalous, spent three years getting kicked out, turned away, and barred entry from literally every organization on campus.
Popcorn
How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me
You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn.
UR Joking
Mystery upstairs: What’s that noise?
I swear I’m returning to a primitive amoeba-like state now that all my classes are virtual. We’re only three weeks in and already I’m going crazy.
UR Joking
10 kinds of tinder users, ranked by rarity
With Valentine’s Day passing by, Tinder usage has increased astronomically. People start swiping right like a trigger-happy protagonist in a Tarantino movie.
Valentine's Day
Will U(zi) be my valentine?
The man, who insisted on being called Rocky, was found outside of Strong in the middle of the night on Feb. 13 with multiple gashes and a small diamond and metal backing lodged in his forehead.
Valentine's Day
How to reclaim valentine’s day
You’re probably sitting in your dorm playing solitaire, eating Kraft singles, singing the latest hit singles. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you can’t love the day of love, so here are 10 tips to enjoy Valentine’s day solo.
UR Joking
COVID-19 clocktower, a conspiracy we can all believe in
As an avid proponent of both intensive research and half of the conspiracy theories I just googled, I’ve decided to present UR with a new hypothesis: Walking under the clocktower will grant you the gift of COVID-19 antibodies.
UR Joking
Top 10 quarantine phases, ranked
However, one incredibly prominent experience is reverting back to phases that we all experienced in the most formative years of our lives, such as in middle school. Thus, here, for your viewing pleasure, are 10 of the mid-quarantine phases, ranked and psychoanalyzed by yours truly.
UR Joking
The real reason students returned to campus: The results will shock you
87% of on-campus respondents cite access to school WiFi, and with it, freedom from Duo authentication, as the most exciting part of on-campus life.
