UR Joking
bean there done that
Coffee! The all natural pick-me-up!
Due tomorrow does in fact mean do tomorrow.
drug abuse
Drugging myself for fun and profit
I’m not a quitter anymore: I’m a starter. And I’m starting right now. Drugs, that is.
hot and bothered
Hot single mascots in your area NOW
Of the two, Tony’s the bear and Chester’s the twink (non-derogatory, and quite enthusiastically, in fact). Different kitties for different tastes.
ice ice baby
Slippery slope: more than just a fallacy
Despite ice being obviously not snow, members of the skiing club simply did not care, calling it close enough.
College Town
The ‘Raw Laef’ lament
Me, trundling by you in the haet and swaet of a post-9-to-5 commute. You, a fucked-up misspelled storefront sign.
pandemonium
Dozens pharbified in Eastman Quad terror attack, WRUR suspected culprit
All that could be heard was the sound of Phoebe Bridgers’s “Funeral,” distorted by the wind and the just-audible sobs of pharbified students crying in the bushes.
misanthropy
Life and college students: a mutual hatred
It’s been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. I hate everyone and everyone hates me. I crawl into bed at 8 p.m., face my pillow, and scream into the void.
feudalism
To eat, or not to eat, that is the question
Professors of the chemical engineering department are now offering a fun little opportunity for all UR students looking to complete their History cluster. For no less than 40 hours a week, you have the privilege of LARPing as a feudal serf.
A Cappella
“Destroyed by mouth sounds:” a cappella demolition
His basic game plan: attract attention with a high D and wrist flourish to distract passerby, while the demolition team’s other members bulldoze campus property with equipment rescued from that one Elmwood Avenue construction site.
PRR sucks
Please don’t look at me while I’m studying
I almost felt like a real college student for a second, instead of the precarious pyramid of nocturnal raccoons (in sunglasses and a trench coat, of course) that I actually am.
