UR Joking
dangerous slurry
Kids love chemicals
The modern Four Loko was nerfed by Big Water, forcing the removal of caffeine, but it’s still a dangerous slurry of sugar and alcohol.
capitalism
Help, my roommate took ECON 108!
I was willing to overlook the basic annoyances, such as his grumbling “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” when we’d pass food being given out.
avian trafficking
Birding club takes flight
Birding Club has realized what the vast majority of onlookers have known for quite some time: These birds are fucking lame.
elevators will be elevators
TikTok trend spurs rise in campus elevators thefts
Close acquaintances of the dirty, dirty criminals claimed that one party “would sneak his hand in at the last second to feel how tight it squeezed."
it's wet
Puddle-palooza!
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been sneak-attacked by a puddle on my treks across campus. A puddle.
cult
Pep-less in Seattle
If greatness, achievement, or Ohio State’s Best Damn Band In The Land tickles your fancy, ditch those high hopes for rugby and a worn-out kazoo.
dystopian future
“Love? In THIS economy?”
In a nation crumbling under political strife and the imminent threat of global warming, there’s clearly one issue that should take precedence above all others: my love life.
bean there done that
Coffee! The all natural pick-me-up!
Due tomorrow does in fact mean do tomorrow.
drug abuse
Drugging myself for fun and profit
I’m not a quitter anymore: I’m a starter. And I’m starting right now. Drugs, that is.
hot and bothered
Hot single mascots in your area NOW
Of the two, Tony’s the bear and Chester’s the twink (non-derogatory, and quite enthusiastically, in fact). Different kitties for different tastes.
