Satire
Satire
First-year engineers hazed by Hajim school
Alumni Jacobs Rotz, who graduated from Chemical Engineering in 2012, commented, “Most first-years have taken MATH 162 by the time the trials start, so nothing can really hurt them anymore.”
Satire
CURT 2: Electric boogaloo
On Tuesday, March 23, UR replaced the Coronavirus University Restart Team (CURT) with a new committee called CURT420.
Satire
After giving the community what it desperately needed, Lil Nosey risks cancellation
We worry that the harsh consequences of cancelling will hurt not only Lil Nosey, but the community as a whole.
Satire
‘Strip for Scholarship’ work-study program announced
The “Strip for Scholarship” program application will open on April 12, and will be available to all undergraduate students.
Satire
Letter to the Editor: What the FUCK is up with laundry on this campus
I hope nobody’s breaking guest policy to get laid, because there’s not a chance in hell they’ll ever get to wash those sheets.
Satire
All UR sports teams undefeated in 2020 season
One of the most worrying aspects of the amazing defensive streak for the ’Jackets was the record-low attendance at games
Satire
BAC of undergrads is sky-high during midterms
"For one student, his blood test had no actual blood; his veins were running only on Genesee Lights and Snapples. He’s a medical miracle!"
Darwin
Darwin: wise or wack?
I come to you today, dear readers, with what I unabashedly believe to be the biggest scientific revelation in the history of our species.
Satire
How to throw a ‘virtual’ frat party in 2021
With the COVID-19 pandemic turning one full year old (happy birthday, by the way), people are growing impatient. That’s why I made the ultimate guide to throwing a 100 percent virtual frat party.
Satire
Letter to the Editor: In defense of Rocky
Rocky is a valuable, hardworking member of the community, as proven by his business endeavor on campus Rocky’s Sub Shop (and, posthumously until the libs get over this whole virus thing, Lounge).
