Satire
meliora
The REAL Tips and Tricks for UR First-Years
Leave your bag on a desk in Rush Rhees for HOURS when you’re not there. Super cool dude :)
Satire
Rochester water party: The full story
Water bottles are being stolen from wandering students by particularly passionate protestors and dumped in sinks, toilets, and in some cases, thrown directly upwards in the air.
Dean Runner
Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!
We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run.
Satire
UR not connected
WiFi has been disabled all day. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow. Maybe not. Probably not.
COVID-19
COVID-19 variants to form new fraternity
COVID Delta Lambda hopes to change the college experience for anyone attempting to get an education in the next decade (or eternity).
Satire
The SA president we needed: An exclusive interview with Megan Browne
Megan, while initially an unlikely candidate as an avid SA-unenthusiast, rose to take on the challenge of snagging the presidency on a whim.
Satire
Wellness Wednesday advice: If going to be sad? Don’t!
Recently, one of our dedicated researchers came across a stash of emails, buried deep within the University’s drafts. Clearly, someone had been trying to dispose of the evidence.
Satire
Exclusive interview with a UR dropout turned influencer
From the Humor section: It’s plain to see that monetizing your hotness, or “influencing,” is now a viable and maybe even preferential career option.
Satire
Your vibes based on your Insomnia Cookie choice
Everyone loves a late night Insomnia delivery, and the sweet sensation that comes with biting into a gooey cookie at 1 am, but not all cookie choices are created equal.
Satire
Scrapped plans for ‘Romantic lunch with Dean Runner’ released to CT
You are invited to join Jeff Runner, Dean of the College, for a romantic walk in the park on April 1, 2021.
