Humor

Where’s Waldo? Inside of us all along.

Flipping through the next few pages, I spent less time finding Waldo. I was only thrown off when they added red herrings.

Angry Bills rant

It's like reading a children’s book for the 70th time and being surprised at the ending. “No way the Chiefs beat us again!"

Help, Geedis is leaking again

Geedis is softly whispering to you as you drift into sleep. There is a low growling sound coming from the trees. Will you do his bidding?

System.out.println(“Coding on paper.”);

I enjoy the occasional coding problem, as the differently-colored special words scratch a certain itch deep, deep down in my monkey brain.

The solution to all of your problems

I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, giving me the power of 10 elephants. With one vitamin gummy, I can lift cars.

Sports! A layman’s perspective

7:19: They warm up? Music was cut, and now they're just playing. The puck is very small, and I cannot see anything.

Take snow prisoners: I will murder you in a snowball fight

My snowball-induced reign of terror left me in a social tundra of my own creation, surrounded by icy silence and the accusatory stares of melting snowmen.

Join the spiritual war against Starbucks

Every day, we have to monitor what we do, think, wear, and how we should customize our latte, just for the approval of the man. Enough.

Let’s get lost! A wholesome travel tale

I’ve traveled abroad myself and can tell you two essentials you must bring along — a friend who can speak Spanish, and a pair of nice tits.

5 a.m. deliriousness

Out of 10 games of chance, I would always lose at least nine. The few games I did win were always won because the other players pitied me.