Humor

“Stay slaying, sexies”

Having any fun? You want to? I may be busy ruling over the school with a limp wrist and iron fist, but I’ll always have time for you.

Life and college students: a mutual hatred

It’s been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. I hate everyone and everyone hates me. I crawl into bed at 8 p.m., face my pillow, and scream into the void.

To eat, or not to eat, that is the question

Professors of the chemical engineering department are now offering a fun little opportunity for all UR students looking to complete their History cluster. For no less than 40 hours a week, you have the privilege of LARPing as a feudal serf.

“Destroyed by mouth sounds:” a cappella demolition

His basic game plan: attract attention with a high D and wrist flourish to distract passerby, while the demolition team’s other members bulldoze campus property with equipment rescued from that one Elmwood Avenue construction site.

Goncharov, your new favorite Thanksgiving tradition

Imagine if Die Hard had a guy braining another guy with an ice pick and then tossing him into a fish pond. That is the magic of Martin Scorsese’s “Goncharov.”

Please don’t look at me while I’m studying

I almost felt like a real college student for a second, instead of the precarious pyramid of nocturnal raccoons (in sunglasses and a trench coat, of course) that I actually am.

Comic: UR sus

Failure to complete tasks results in expulsion from this school.

A mid-season review of a cappella, UR’s most publicized sport

While regular Rochester sports all share a theme of sucking ass, a cappella thrives on the ability to adapt, and you can't tell us it's not a sport.

Tunneling club reaches new tunnels

Tunnels come in many shapes and sizes, primarily tunnel-like and fuckery-like.

Quiz: Should you overload next semester?

Do you have friends/a social life? "A. If my laptop, iPad, and three-foot stack of biology notes count, then yes."