Narratives

Broken records

With his alarm blasting, head ringing, and heart sinking, senior Erik Franclin dragged himself out of bed.

The importance of flossing

You see, I have nice teeth. Like, REALLY nice teeth.

The CrossFit cult

The summer before I entered eighth grade, my dad made the executive decision to immerse our family in a cult.

Examples of how I don’t know what I’m doing

Can I please be a dancing, Hebrew-speaking, brain-researching, religious-sex-expert please? Anyone hiring?

Slogan debunker

Hello, again! My name is Pete, and somehow I’m still the CT’s Senior Slogan Debunker. I’ve been tasked with assessing the logic behind some popular slogans, so let’s see how they hold up.

Toddler detective, chapter 7

I’m suddenly very aware of my legs not being able to touch the ground from the hybrid highchair/barstool here at the Dirty Diaper.

I have a problem

I'm a firm believer that life boils down to a few simple things. Character, charisma, intelligence, and personality all come to mind.

The end of the world as we know it

Can someone explain to me what in God’s name Macaroni and Cheese Soup is?

An open letter that should be closed

Wow. I’ve never written an open letter before, but now I feel really good about myself.

Toddler detective, chapter 6

I tried to kick in the door like an old Western movie, but I ended up just kicking through the door and getting stuck for, like, ten minutes.