Narratives

How alligators made an April Fool out of me

I was curious as to what was so important. As it turned out, he had a very specific query. “How do you feel about alligators?”

To all the Uber drivers I’ve loved before <3

From the April Fools section: Here’s to you, boys. Thank you for serving our streets and for bringing a light to my life. I will never forget you.

The diary of a student forgotten in Whipple Park

Hello to whoever finds this in the future. My name is Chad Spike, and I’m quarantining in Whipple Park because I got COVID-19.

Lake Ontario: shockingly bereft of crabs

So I went up to the lake, and ventured out onto the ice. A disclaimer: I know nothing about ice fishing.

The human beauty of the internet

The world wide web is perhaps the most complete repository of human strangeness to ever exist.

Gourds!

She explained, “For purely decorative gourds I’m a big fan of Tennessee dancing gourds, and bicolor egg gourds.”

Southside spiders seriously spook Stella

Imagine my displeasure upon finding a gargantuan, lustrous-rumped, gangly-legged, octo-eyed, bitch-ass orb weaver staring at me from its tiny nest of butt string.

Tony Hawk (maybe) gets bigger

Mr. Hawk has allegedly made a resurgence, and is quite possibly bigger than he’s ever been.

Stock photo models afraid of becoming memes

“I’m just taking this class for an easy A, I’m not looking to become a meme,” junior Jen Erica Photo said.

The underground professorhood: A groundboi night school

In the early hours of the morning with the cover of darkness and the moon high in the sky, a community of animals met at the stoop of a groundhog hole on the hill beside Jackson Court.