April Fools

University reintroduces Option D meal plan in response to student concerns

The plan will cost $2,893 per semester and can only be used to purchase tasteful, seasonal Starbucks tumblers.

Dorm door struck by 57 bullets after refusing PubSafe’s orders to open

During a routine lock-out call in O’Brien Hall Thursday night, 59 bullets were discharged into a door from the barrel of a Department of Public Safety officer-involved gun.

Administration commits to quadrupling Israeli investments per activist demands

A culmination of months of protests by hundreds of student and community members demanding the University take a monetary and vocal stand against the war in Gaza, UR’s administration announced Thursday that they will be quadrupling investments in Israeli defense suppliers.

Rocky to be replaced by URBee after losing legal battle against Georgia Tech’s Buzz

Up until recently, Georgia Tech had an agreement with UR that allowed the two yellowjackets to coexist peacefully.

Coachella 2024 moving to Rochester

While the original lineup will be preserved (barring Doja Cat, who refuses to travel to upstate New York), the Rochester-based band Fuzzrod will be added.

Protest policy changes: A rundown

The status of UR’s Protest Policy is constantly in flux so here’s a rundown to help you keep track of it all.

Not sexist enough: Computer Science professor fired

Walter Mellon, tenured professor of Computer Science, was quietly relieved of his duties earlier this week due to his “unwavering refusal to adhere to outdated gender stereotypes,” Computer Science Department Chair Michael L. Scott announced.

Album Review

I listened to an Album by an Artist and it was okay, I guess. When I pressed play, it made noises and I heard it. That was fine.

Comedy declared dead by federal regulators

Fun time’s over, according to Federal Commissioner of Comedy Sean O’Comedy, who has officially declared that comedy is dead.

AG Letitia James Seizes Rush Rhees Library as Part of Trump’s Asset Forfeiture

The building notably does not bear any Trump branding, unlike his other properties but considered "an indispensable part" of his real estate portfolio.