Archives - Caden Dillon

Not loss


GEEDISQUEST: A wholesome IRL Geedis side quest

On the most recent anniversary of my eviction from the womb, I turned the key to my dorm and swung open the door to discover a startling sight: Geedis.

Review: The Land of Ta Season 1, Episode 18: “Where’s Geedis?” (1981)

You silly! Geedis cannot be killed. He is old. Older than the Sun and the Moon. And yet he is amiable, and a friend to everyone. You silly!

Help, Geedis is leaking again

Geedis is softly whispering to you as you drift into sleep. There is a low growling sound coming from the trees. Will you do his bidding?

Dear Spirit Coordinator: please let me beat up Rocky

I want blood. I don’t know who the current Spirit Coordinator is, but if they’re reading this, I have only one word for them: coward.

Stalking people on the Internet? You must be a Certified Bona Fide Journalism Man™!

No, Aunt Petricia, it would not be ethical for me to write an article about your famous beef stew, no matter how many it has inspired.

I really, really dislike this sign

This is not only wrong, but downright un-American. I refuse to elaborate on how.

A message from David Byrne

Per the agreement, I would write, record, and perform a gesamtkunstwerk titled “American Utopia” in order to boost Americans’ faith in The Government.

Campus Times EXPOSED: Editors caught censoring real news, placing it in Humor

Editor-in-Chief Alyssa Koh has been working with University President Sarah Mangelsdorf to censor stories by placing them in the Humor section.