Archives - Bryan Burke
birb
Missed connection: ECE 113
I don’t know who you are. I do not want to know. I could fear you, if such were your intention. You left me haunted, bereft, and alone.
Daylight Savings
The Gregorian calendar: so last year
I'm in Gleason. I look over and time jumps by an hour? Am I trapped in this psychic prison? No, it’s just Daylight Savings.
dangerous slurry
Kids love chemicals
The modern Four Loko was nerfed by Big Water, forcing the removal of caffeine, but it’s still a dangerous slurry of sugar and alcohol.
avian trafficking
Birding club takes flight
Birding Club has realized what the vast majority of onlookers have known for quite some time: These birds are fucking lame.
bean there done that
Coffee! The all natural pick-me-up!
Due tomorrow does in fact mean do tomorrow.
ice ice baby
Slippery slope: more than just a fallacy
Despite ice being obviously not snow, members of the skiing club simply did not care, calling it close enough.
feudalism
To eat, or not to eat, that is the question
Professors of the chemical engineering department are now offering a fun little opportunity for all UR students looking to complete their History cluster. For no less than 40 hours a week, you have the privilege of LARPing as a feudal serf.
bees
Buzzz-buzzz
They moved in packs, resembling clouds of yellow pain. Their intent: to drive students into buildings, away from campus center, and just generally insane.
angst
It’s 11p.m. somehow?
Flintstones gummies and caffeine shall be my only saviors during the darker days of this semester.
Gourds
The Gourds of Wrath
You frighten me, Mr. Pumpkin. Your violent delights can only meet violent ends.