You have chosen wisely!!! Professors from the psychology department recently decided to give their students more choices on exams.

Complaining that the answers on psychology exams are too obtuse, freshman Pete S. Sake claims, ?They give you A through E as answers, but half the time, most of the answers are, like, all the same. They need to be more clear. I think they may just be messing with us, to be honest.?

In response to complaints such as these, all psychology students will be treated to questions with answers A through Q from now on.

With so many choices, there will never be any confusion as to what the professor is looking for. Whether anyone will be able to finish these new exams remains to be seen.

Realizing there may be something to this choice phenomenon sweeping the River Campus, Parking Services has decided to give students more parking options.

Sick of hearing students complain that there isn?t enough good parking on campus, one parking official noted, ?We really want to create a better relationship between Parking Services and students.?

If you think creating more parking options for students is a good idea, see Story E, Page 10.

If you think parking is fine the way it is, see Story F, Page 11.



The ‘wanted’ posters at the University of Rochester are unambiguously antisemitic. Here’s why.

As an educator who is deeply committed to fostering an open, inclusive environment and is alarmed by the steep rise in antisemitic crimes across this country and university campuses, I feel obligated to explain why this poster campaign is clearly an expression of antisemitism

Teddy’s Travels: Ithaca, NY

Obviously, every ‘Teddy’s Travels’ needs adventure, and after our unremarkable stay in Ithaca, I began to wonder if perhaps we would break the streak.

Top 10 best albums of 2024

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