I was doing fine. Even though one of the scariest holidays for all singletons was rapidly approaching, I still had a good attitude. I was embracing the pink. I was eating those little Necco hearts with obscure messages and I had been invited to a Valentine’s Day party by my friend Katherine – of course under the condition that I would put out. And then there was the flower seller in Wilson Commons. I saw the table and began to pick up my pace and look like I was totally absorbed in my music, but she caught me.
People should know that I only really want to talk to you if I take one ear bud out, otherwise I will just nod my head while listening to Deathcab for Cutie. She told me I should send a flower to someone. In my usual charming, self-deprecating manner I said, “I don’t have anyone to send a flower to.” Instead of the usual “Oh, I am sure any man would be overwhelmed with joy and merriment if you, Meredith Lepore, sent him a flower,” she instead said, “Oh, that is so depressing.” Who was this girl? The single police? I was fine with not having a Valentine and yet she was insisting that it was unacceptable. I mean, of course I could send a flower to a number of people, but that would totally put the ball in the boy’s court if I had a crush on them – and you never want to lose the ball. Secondly, I am really cheap and would rather buy myself more giant beaded necklaces – they are totally my signature look right now.
Being single on Valentine’s Day actually has many perks, and people who find themselves without a significant other on the big day should think of these things.
1) Candy – Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to buy a ton of candy and be like, “Oh no it’s for my Valentine. He is a really big guy.” Just be sure not to let anyone see you eating said candy since your New Year’s resolution was to give up sugar after your mother repeatedly told you that you were going to put yourself in a sugar-induced coma. Most likely, she felt the need to intervene after she found those three packs of Fun-Dip in your room. Let’s also not forget your physician father continuously putting articles about diabetics having their limbs cut off at your place at the dinner table.
2) You are saving money! Most people in a relationship shell out a good $100 for Valentine’s Day. Use that money to buy candy for yourself! Or, again, the big beaded necklaces – I think this fetish might be a result of their candy-like appearance.
3) Promiscuity – You can kiss anyone you want! If you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend you can just walk up to people and kiss them without feeling bad about it. Yes, people might be a little disturbed that a complete stranger is walking up to them and kissing them, but it is Valentine’s Day, which is all about spreading the love.
4) Chick Flicks – I often feel silly when I sit down to watch a sappy romance in the middle of the day, but not on Valentine’s Day. Of course some chick flicks might be depressing because the romances are so ideal, but keep in mind that these are movies and no one is that good looking in real life. For more realistic chick flicks I recommend “When Harry Met Sally,” “Benny and June” and “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” For more examples watch the E! channel’s “100 Best Chick Flicks of all Time” that airs this weekend.
5) Finally, remember this is a holiday, just like Christmas, which means you shouldn’t have to do work! If you are a little depressed about being alone on V-day just think of what the wise Carrie Bradshaw once said – the ultimate single gal – “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
