As the title suggests, this article is about the idea that you can’t depend on other people. Naturally, this may come off as pessimistic and might contain some harsh truths, but it’s a message that certain people, myself included, desperately need to hear.

I want to be able to rely on others and trust them, and I genuinely try to do that. Yet, reality often leaves much to be desired. Promises aren’t kept, and I’ve been jaded by life.

At the end of the day, you have to realize that you are responsible for your own life and outcomes. Nobody is coming to save you. You have to learn to save yourself.

I’m writing this not out of spite or bitterness, but out of hope. Hope that someone, somewhere, will read this and recognize that they’ve been leaving their fate in the hands of others for too long. Hope that one day, we’ll all find our own paths: paths we’ve clawed our way onto, and paths that we rightfully belong on. Let no one burn down the ladder you’ve worked so hard to build. Let no one take that place on the podium where you belong. If you’ve put in the work and fought your way to the top, no one can take that away from you.

Every time I’ve relied on someone else, I’ve felt that familiar sting of disappointment. There have been so many times that I tried placing trust in people, only to be met with silence and inaction. Those moments are tough. They’ve made me doubt whether I should have expectations for anyone at all, or if it would be better to isolate myself to avoid disappointment. 

But I realize that those moments have become my greatest teachers. They’ve shown me the importance of self-reliance, of forging my own path, no matter how steep or rocky it may be. This doesn’t mean shutting people out completely. It means recognizing the limits of others and understanding that, ultimately, I am the architect of my own destiny.

I can already hear the objections — what about community, support systems, and friendships? These things matter, of course. They can uplift you when you stumble. But your self-worth and resilience shouldn’t depend solely on external validation. Learn to be your own biggest fan, your own best friend. Take some time to celebrate yourself and your victories, big or small, and acknowledge your growth.

In this harsh reality, there is a certain freedom to doing all that. Once you accept that no one is coming to save you, you also realize that no one can take power away from you. The moment you take responsibility for your own journey, you can move forward with purpose and determination. You don’t have to wait for someone else to unlock doors for you. You can create your own keys.

So, as I keep moving forward, I’ll honor the struggle. I’ll savor the taste of hard-earned victories and learn from the setbacks. I’ve always considered myself an underdog anyway, forced to claw my way out of every unfortunate situation I find myself in. But you know what? I’m fine with that. Each bitterly-won victory feels just that much more sweet to me. Because when you take control, when you refuse to wait for others to step in, that’s when you truly start to live.

In a world where reliance on others can lead to disappointment, remember that you have the power to shape your own destiny. Sure, nobody is coming to save you. But maybe, just maybe, that’s the best news of all. It means you have the power to save yourself. Learn to honor your struggles, take responsibility for your own journey, and recognize that true liberation starts from within.



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On Nov. 14, critically acclaimed fiction author Laura van den Berg came to UR as part of the Plutzik Reading Series.

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