The concept of “home” has always been a bit tricky for me. Sometimes I’ll be in a place I consider home, yet still have the feeling of wanting to go “home,”never quite knowing where exactly that place would be. As cliché as it may sound, home has become a feeling rather than a place. It’s drinking chai with my mom on the couch at 6 a.m. before the craziness of the day begins. It’s sitting in my comfy chair in the dim glow of my string lights, listening to music. It’s painting with faint music in the background. Just a few days ago, I referred to my dorm room as “home.” It happened much quicker than I expected, considering we are less than a month into the start of the semester. As I enter my third year of college, here is what I have found helps me feel the most at home at UR:
1. Make time for yourself.
One of the main differences between college and home life is the sharp increase in academic work once I arrive in Rochester. Home is usually associated with working and then having “me” time to unwind and relax. But once I’m at college, I feel like taking time for myself becomes a far and few between luxury. Doing things that I want to do for enjoyment becomes a last priority if I’m not careful. Feeling at home means making sure that my well-being is just as important as my academics and other responsibilities.
Most people I know are constantly busy, with a million things on our minds and harbor a seemingly never-ending to-do list. Set aside some time to just breathe and do something you love: read a chapter of that book you’ve been eyeing, go for a walk, do something to clear your mind. Taking a break can sometimes feel like laziness or slacking off, but that’s not the case. We do our best work when we are calm; stress is really what’s counterproductive.
It’s totally okay to take an evening to yourself or set aside an hour to wind down. I’ve found that getting off my phone, putting my laptop away, and being present in the moment helps me separate myself from the craziness of college.
2. Your living space should be yours.
Hang stuff on the walls, move the furniture around, express yourself through your living space. For me, that includes sentimental drawings, a few posters, an emotional–support plant, and some lights. I’m not ashamed to admit that I brought a few of my favorite stuffed animals to college, and those comfort items help me feel like my generic, white-walled shoebox is my own, even if it is just until May.
3. Find comfort in the little things.
Feeling at home includes a sense of belonging and comfort. When at college, it’s pretty easy to slip into feeling isolated from people in your life that you don’t see as often anymore. It is highly likely that people you care about — and those who care about you — want to hear from you! Stay connected — it’s been shown that maintaining healthy friendships can do a great deal of good for your emotional well-being.
Finding comfort can also include celebrating the little things. Last year, my friend and I had five or six exams between the both of us in a span of a week. So that Friday, once we were both done, we celebrated by getting an ice cream cake and watching a movie. In that moment, it didn’t matter what the outcome would be — all that mattered was that we got through it. Celebrate those small victories — you deserve it.
4. Establish a routine.
This has been by far the hardest but best thing for me when it comes to feeling settled in college. Routines don’t just have to be about sleeping and waking up at the same time every day; it’s also about building healthy habits that set you up for long-term success. The more stressed I am, the more homesick I get. Establishing routines and healthy habits help me feel good about being at college even when things are not going so well.
I’ve always been one for routines, and as mundane as they can seem, those routines are generally what keeps me sane during my toughest weeks. A routine introduces an element of structure within the chaos, which is usually pretty helpful when it comes to healthily managing your stress levels.
5. Let yourself feel homesick (just a little bit).
Like most of you, coming to college was a huge adjustment. I left my family and friends back in my hometown, and only go back for longer breaks. I’m surrounded by new faces in a new environment. Homesickness used to induce panic. Why am I feeling like this? How do I get rid of it? What’s the quickest way home?
Though I’m much happier in college than I ever was in high school, I still get nostalgic. I catch myself missing the feeling of walking into my house and greeting my dog. I miss the feeling of having an assigned lunch period where my friends and I inhaled our food before classes began again. And that’s okay! It’s completely understandable that you’re not going to feel at home right away. Rather than panicking and dwelling in the empty feeling that comes with homesickness, try to embrace the feeling of change. As silly as it may sound, I tell myself, “I am growing, I am learning, and I am doing amazing things, whether or not it feels like that right now” — and you are too.
