Super Bowl XVIII wins with ads

The Super Bowl is over and now it’s time to score its most important moments. No, we’re not talking about Janet Jackson – we are talking about the ads. Annually, millions of Americans are treated to some of the best ads the industry can come up with. Advertisers know this is a prime time for ad-viewing and pay exorbitant rates for the slots. This year, a typical 30-second spot cost $2.4 million. Here’s a list of what we thought were this year’s top seven ads, in no particular order. All ratings are done on a 10-point scale, unless we really liked it or hated it.Michael He: One of the better public information ads I’ve seen in a while was the Shards O’ Glass ad by the American Legacy Foundation. It featured an executive of Shards warning consumers on the dangers of ice pops with shards of glass in them. It concluded with a quick poke at the tobacco industry’s denial of smoking hazards. I gave it an eight. Andrew McGaffey: The glass-filled popsicles looked delicious. I can’t wait to find them on the shelves in the corner store. I gave it a seven. One of my favorite ads was for America Online 9.0 supercharged Internet. It features the family from American Choppers supercharging a motorcycle with it. Unfortunately, the charged motorcycle didn’t simply jump a line of tractor trailers, it launched one of the boys into orbit. The conclusion? AOL is for the Internet. This ad was funny and featured the cast of one of my favorite shows. I gave it a nine. MH: Ah, yes. Nothing screams technology like three biker hicks with a shiny new toy. I gave it a three, although it was priceless on the “hick launching fun” scale.Budweiser, king of beers, continues their reign over great commercials. This one featured a pure bred dog capable of fetching beer from an ice chest and a mutt named Fergus who could fetch beer by latching onto the package of a man holding onto a beer. I didn’t know if I should burst out laughing or scream. I gave it a 10.AM: Another excellent ad from Budweiser. I gave it a nine.Another ad from Budweiser features a situation familiar to us all. You bring home a cute girl and your horny, talking monkey ruins the evening by hitting on her. I don’t know what it had to do with beer, but I like it. How do you feel about back hair? I gave it a seven-and-a-half.MH: This one was just scary. I would not buy beer from a company that supports bestiality. Thank you, but I won’t be doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.Frito Lay brings us all closer to damnation through its ad featuring two senior citizens fighting over a dropped bag of Lays. The old man plays dirty and trips the woman, but she steals his dentures so all is fair. At the end, the young man comes to reclaim his bag. Was it humorous? Yes. Am I going to hell for laughing? Most definitely. I gave it a nine.AM: More violent than Bum Stunts and more dramatic than Bum Fights. It was excellent.Everyone whose mother ever broke out the Irish Spring because of your creative use of language can relate to the ad for the new Chevy pickup. In it, a bunch of small children are punished with soap in the mouth for expressing their shock and awe of the beautiful new SSR. I know I want one. I gave the ad a nine and the truck about 1000 points.MH: Yumm! This is the hottest car ever. I gave it a 10.Oh yeah! I’m up for any time the Simpsons are in a commercial. This excellent ad from MasterCard is their first Super Bowl appearance in many moons. Homer finds himself completing errands faster by using his MasterCard and hence is able to spend more time at Moe’s I mean with his family. I gave it two big yellow thumbs up.AM: The new season is actually good enough to deserve this ad. Good thing that the Simpsons are back in form. I gave it a 12.Think we’re wrong? Well you can see for yourself at http://www.ifilm.com.He can be reached at mhe@campustimes.org.McGaffey can be reached at amcgaffey@campustimes.org.