The Catholic Times is proud to introduce our new fiction serial, “The Catholic Times Presents,” which will feature history’s greatest novels in weekly portions. Here is “Ulysses” by James Joyce, part I of MMMCMLVI:

 

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

—“Introibo ad altare Dei.”

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called out coarsely:

—“Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit!”

 

Find Part II of MMMCMLVI in the next edition of the Catholic Times.

 



I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story

Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with?

Dedicated to everyone in the movie theater who laughed at “The Substance”

“The Substance”, though quite effectively campy and satirical at times, is not a comedy.

Bird Flu? I sure hope they did!

We asked her if she’s ever seen one of these species fly before, when they wanted to, of course. Duck let out a nervous chuckle and flushed bright red, fidgeting in her chair.