Student life in Rochester is often marred by compromise. We are hemmed in by oppressively cold weather, cramped living conditions, and a perilous job market. In times like these we all could use a pick-me-up, which is why I’m thrilled to report that my roommate Ivan has successfully kept a 16-foot sailboat in our driveway for over a year. I caught up with this nautical visionary to figure out how he pulled off such a feat in on-land docking.

Campus Times: Can you state your name?

Senior Ivan Frantz ‘20: Ivan Deray Frantz IV.

UR grad Chris Dalke ’19, who was visiting us this weekend: Dalke.

CT: So, did you always plan on keeping a 16-foot sailboat parked in our driveway for so long?

IF: No, I had big plans for that boat.

CT: Can you tell me what plans you had?

IF: I really hoped we were going to use it a lot over the summer. Um, and eventually store it, actually, by the water. But I don’t have a trailer hitch, so I couldn’t get it there, so it just kind of stayed.

CT: But it stayed to inspire everyone that sees it.

IF: Oh, of course. The possibility of going sailing is always there.

CT: Do you think that sailing is aspirational?

IF: Uh, yeah? Everybody wants to have few enough plans that they can go sailing. Like, when you’re sailing, you can’t be multitasking. You can’t even bring your phone.

CT: Do you think our neighbors are inspired by our boat?

IF: More confused, I’d say.

CT: But it’s, like, an inspired confusion?

IF: Yeah, sure.

CT: Are you aware that multiple people have asked if I live in “that house with the boat?”

IF: No, but I love that!

CT: How many times has the boat left our driveway?

IF: Uh, once.

CT: When was that, do you remember?

IF: It was over the summer; Dalke and I went sailing.

CT: Dalke, do you remember that? When you went sailing with Ivan?

CD: Yeah, I almost sunk it.

IF: Dalke did almost sink it!

CD: We ended up in, like, a foot of water.

IF: It was so cold.

CT: Where did you take it?

IF: What lake was that?

(Long pause. Dalke tries to remember what lake he almost sank Ivan’s beautiful boat in, and my equally inspiring roommate, Leo Orsini ‘20, starts playing “Revenge — A Minecraft Parody of Usher’s DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” next to my transcription device.)

CD: It’s one of the Finger Lakes. 

CT: What do you think about cats that spend cold winter nights inside the boat?

IF: I’m happy to help, I guess.

CT: What do you think about children that do that?

IF: I hope there aren’t children that do that.

CT: If there were, would you condone it?

IF: I think we need to find other situations for those children.

CT: Last question — what would you say to anyone else, on or off-campus, that dreams of keeping a boat on-land for a long period of time?

(Long pause)

IF: I mean (pause) it’s easy to do.



Please stop messing with my pants

It started off with small things. One morning, the cuffs of my pants were slightly shorter, almost imperceptibly so.

Teddy’s Travels: Ithaca, NY

Obviously, every ‘Teddy’s Travels’ needs adventure, and after our unremarkable stay in Ithaca, I began to wonder if perhaps we would break the streak.

The ‘wanted’ posters at the University of Rochester are unambiguously antisemitic. Here’s why.

As an educator who is deeply committed to fostering an open, inclusive environment and is alarmed by the steep rise in antisemitic crimes across this country and university campuses, I feel obligated to explain why this poster campaign is clearly an expression of antisemitism