Finals week is stressful, and there’s a lot of pressure to do well. All the effort you’ve put into your classes culminates in a large final that, for some reason, is worth 70 percent of your grade.
On top of that, people tend to forget that doing well doesn’t mean camping out in Gleason over the course of reading period and drinking Red Bulls for dinner. You have to go to the library to get prime—or any—desk space.
Your Declining, which was already low to begin with, is dwindling even faster.
And sex might be one of the furthest things from your mind. I’m here to make a case for “sexy” de-stressers during finals week.
Don’t let your backside go by the wayside
Personal hygiene is important. Not only does your study partner not want to smell you from across the desk—not keeping clean is a confidence destroyer.
Take care of yourself first. Take long, hot showers when you need to. If you have a bathtub, take advantage of it and take a nice, long bubble bath and add to it some battery-operated candles, a good book, and (potentially) another partner.
Sexy underwear
. If you’re going to slump over a desk in the stacks for 14 hours at a time, do it in something comfortable. To take it to the next step, wear some matching underwear. Everyone knows that everything feels right in the world when your underwear matches. It also gives you a confidence boost to know that at least your underwear situation is together.
Treat yourself
There’s nothing sexier than getting what you want. Spend the weekend before reading period doing nice things for yourself. Get a manicure or a haircut, or buy that jacket you’ve been wanting. Indulge yourself with guacamole in your Chipotle burrito and smile confidently because you already know it costs extra.
Cuddle City
As winter comes, there’s another natural phenomenon that comes with it: cuffing season. It’s time to get on Tinder, or ask a friend of a friend, to be your cuffing partner. A cuffing partner is someone warm to hang out with and, ideally, cuddle with to survive the freezing winter in Rochester. Cuddling increases oxytocin levels, which reduces blood pressure, stress, and anxiety. Hugging and kissing work, too.
Play with yourself
Studies show that one of the best ways to relieve stress is by orgasming. And you can do it yourself. It’s a built-in mechanism for stress relief. The cathartic spasming of the pelvic muscles happens simultaneously with the release of hormones in your brain that make you feel relieved and stress free.
It can be hard to masturbate in college, especially if you have a roommate. Just let your roommate know that you need the room to yourself for a little bit, or wait until they’ve gone to the library. If you don’t have a sex toy, go with the good ol’ hand—the oldest form of entertainment in the world.
Exercise without going to the gym
Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people have lower stress levels.
Besides going to the gym or doing nude yoga in your room, adding Kegels to your schedule is a great option. And you don’t have to pencil them into your schedule, because you can do them at any time—and no one will know you’re doing them.
Kegel exercise strengthens your pelvic muscles. Namesake Dr. Arnold Kegel also found that doing Kegels improves women’s ability to achieve orgasm. In men, Kegel exercises can help with erectile dysfunction and improve the ability to last longer.
When you’re peeing, stop your stream. Those muscles that you just used to stop peeing are the ones you’re targeting. Kegels are the contraction and relaxation of the pelvic muscles. Slowly contract for five seconds, then release for five more. Repeat 10 times, and do it three times per day.
Finally, sex
Sex combines the best of masturbation, exercise, and cuddling. Sex improves your mood, increases sleep quality, boosts your immune system, and decreases heart rate. Take some time to enjoy yourself and decrease your stress levels while you’re at it.
