Everyone argues over which Hollywood actress is hottest. While watching “Pocahontas,” we broke grounds into a more relevant and more interesting conversation – a time-tested argument every group of men has had at one point – Which Disney character is hottest.
The five panelists had an extremely heated discussion over which characters to include and where on the list to place them; there was even some discussion on whether or not to include Nala (“The Lion King”) in the dialogue.
This list is not a reflection of any individual preference, but is instead the product of a thorough, thought-out process. We hope you enjoy.
After countless hours of debating, here’s who made the final cuts:
Number 10: Jessica Rabbit (“Who Framed Roger Rabbit”). When you’re a freshman in high school, there’s that one girl that you just want to get with – that unattainable senior that you put on a pedestal and, after a brief conversation one day in the hall, all of a sudden realize that she’s not all you worked her up to be.
Bottom Line: She had the best body, but it takes more than that to move beyond number 10.
Number nine: Cinderella. Cinderella is the classic beauty, the princess each girl dreams of being and the girl every guy wants to bring to the Viennese Ball. Some may push to have her higher on the ladder, but awful protests from a certain judge kept her low on the list.
Bottom Line: Her work ethic and good nature kept her as a shoe-in on the list, but her particular appeal stranded her at nine.
Number eight: Tinkerbell (“Peter Pan”). There’s something about a chick who flies that just turns guys on. The combination of a great body, personality and fairy dust puts her at least at eight. However, it’s clear that she can be somewhat of a jealous type and tends to hang around little boys. We want a woman who can handle a real man.
Bottom Line: Size does matter.
Number seven: Jane (“Tarzan”). Swinging from trees in nothing but a loincloth – that’s hot. Her seeming innocence is the first turn-on, and when you dig deeper, her fiery passion keeps you involved. Unfortunately, she sports a boring yellow dress for most of her flick – a bit too conservative for our taste.
Bottom Line: There’s something hot about a British accent.
Number six: Esmerelda (“The Hunchback of Notre Dame”). Esmerelda brought out only the worst in our panel. Her exotic beauty and sparkling green eyes draw in most, and her willingness to befriend all caused one panelist to put her at the top. However, a lack of support from the majority on mundane features such as eyebrows kept her out of the top five.
Bottom Line: She’s a belly dancer. Imagine what else she could do.
And now for the top five.
Number five: Pocahontas. There is no denying that John Smith has fantastic taste. Her great body and amazing grace garnered her high vote counts, and her gorgeous legs stood out among all the contestants. It’s too bad her face was judged sub-par; otherwise, she could have been at the top.
Bottom Line: Paper bag it.
Number four: Ariel (“The Little Mermaid”). We’re glad to have such a strong representation of redheads on this list. Ariel is a beauty, with or without legs.
Her voice calls out, but her body (with legs) calls out even more. The panel agrees that Ariel could fulfill any man’s wildest fantasies between her voice and her figure. It’s too bad she’s a fish for most of her feature or else she might have moved up.
Bottom Line: It’s a shame that the fish part is on the bottom.
Number three: Belle (“Beauty and the Beast”). Belle was near the top of all the judges’ lists, but at the top of no one’s. Belle is the simple beauty anyone would be satisfied with, but she’s not enough to compare with the stronger personalities ahead of her. Any of us would gladly settle down with Belle if compelled, but how many guys actually ever want to settle down?
Bottom Line: Belle, unlike Tink, can handle any size of man (or beast).
Number two: Meg (“Hercules”). This girl’s got sass. Biting sarcasm is hot, and she’s definitely got curves. If you’re looking for more than good looks – which, by the way, she absolutely has – then she’s your girl. We’ve got nothing bad to say about her.
Bottom Line: It’s too bad she’s not real.
And, far and away, our number one: Jasmine (“Aladdin”). Smoking – in every single way. Have you seen her in that red number?
Unbelievable. Her rebellious streak, together with her unparalleled good looks, propelled her above every other candidate. Give me a lamp and let me wish for her.
Bottom Line: Simply a goddess. I’d let her rock my whole new world.
Bauer, Burke, Collins, Epstein and Waldman are members of the Class of 2010.
