The clock was quickly ticking. The second hand was counting down to the nearest minute. Professor Sneebly had a decision to make. The options were clear: stop lecturing at 12:17, and let his class out early as three-forths of the students packed their bags or end class on his own terms. The decision had been a moral battle since 2006. “In the year 2006, I noticed a change in my students: they seemed to focus too much on those fancy smart phones. I attribute this to a shorter attention span and early onset of arthritis,” Sneebly said.

As the clock counted down, Sneebly made a game-time decision: at 12:16:52 he announced, “Class dismissed. I will see you all next week.” The veteran professor was pleased  with how he had defied the system. When asked if his goal had been accomplished, even though class ended early, he commented, “You see, junior, it’s not about what the people want, it’s about what the people need. This power move I made back there, being in charge and all, reminded me of a time when I was your age, back in the day…”

He proceeded to tell an irrelevant story from his past. After this power move of a professor ending class early, the student body was surveyed to gauge their feelings; 26 percent didn’t realize class had ended early. The other 74 percent opted not to reply.

But, not all professors have this problem. Years ago, there was an alternative strategy. The university had constructed a building with minimal clocks and terrible cell phone service. This current building is known as Meliora Hall. Further innovations are believed to be provided for Wegmans Hall.

 



On the Students’ Association resolution

This SA resolution is simply another way to follow the masses by expressing their dismay for Israel and standing in solidarity with the radical Palestinian people.

The ‘wanted’ posters at the University of Rochester are unambiguously antisemitic. Here’s why.

As an educator who is deeply committed to fostering an open, inclusive environment and is alarmed by the steep rise in antisemitic crimes across this country and university campuses, I feel obligated to explain why this poster campaign is clearly an expression of antisemitism

Please stop messing with my pants

It started off with small things. One morning, the cuffs of my pants were slightly shorter, almost imperceptibly so.