Recently, a number of freshmen living in Susan B. Anthony Hall have been upset over how far the residence halls within the building from the Hillside POD. A record number of students (four) attended a recent Hall Council meeting (Editor’s Note: we checked, and these meetings apparently do actually exist. Quorum, it turns out is two attendees.). The result of the meeting was the decision to spend the entire budget on a Campus Times advertisement explaining their feelings.

The few students who actually read the ad were not amused. “Back when I was a freshman, I’d walk from the Quad. Outside,” one junior who wished to remain anonymous due to the understandably sensitive nature of the story said.

When asked if he had a comment, UR President Joel Seligman said, “Hmph. Next, they’ll be expecting even more unrealistic things, like edible food and restrooms in every [academic] building! Who do these freshmen think they are?”


Schaffer is a member of
the class of 2016.



Notes by Nadia: Why you might not be sticking to your New Year’s resolutions

If you want to achieve your New Year’s resolutions without immediately burning out, you need to start slow. Goals aren’t achieved overnight.

Hourly minimum wage increases 50 cents

New York State’s minimum wage increased by $0.50 on Jan. 1 to from $15.00 to $15.50.

The downfall of the plateocracy

Now, forks are able to be reunited with families. Plates are able to go home after decades in the kitchen. Spoons are able to live life on the dry-side, no longer submerged in sloppily executed imitations of soups and sauces.