Anonymous 20-year-old bisexual demigirl asks: “How to shave vagina without horrendous razor burn?”
Oh, Anonymous, your question has been igniting interest in the CT Office this week: everyone has agreed that this burning question must be answered. However, I must admit, I am hesitant to tell everyone in an age where literally every godforsaken person will buy a product the second someone online recommends it.
I’m sure someone who is into economics can explain how that’s bad. I just know I want the products I need to be there and be affordable. So before we begin, we must agree to protect these trade secrets with our lives, ladies, theydies, and gentlemen. In this context, gatekeeping is okay.
And thus, I must present to you, the Sex & The CT’s Official Grooming Guide: labia-owner edition.
The Necessities
When grooming your downstairs area, you should have a few essential supplies: A razor – preferably one specialized for bikini-area use – a small set of scissors (like eyebrow scissors … but don’t use the same set), and a set of fine-point tweezers used explicitly for this task. Be sure to clean everything with antibacterial soap before and after every use.
You’ll also want some sort of fragrance and dye-free astringent (a product used on skin to reduce irritation and oiliness) and moisturizer for afterwards. I prefer 100% witch hazel and pure aloe vera. Please do not use aloe vera straight from a plant on any patch of your skin. Buy it instead from the CVS in College Town. Double check the ingredients to verify that there aren’t dyes or fragrances (if it’s bright green, that’s a bad sign).
Be sure to try out different techniques and products to find out what works for you, as everyone’s skin is different. My personal rule of thumb is that anything I wouldn’t put on my face, I don’t put near my vagina … and vice versa.
If you’d like to get fancy, a shaving oil, gel, or cream may help, but these items can be pricier if you’re working with a student budget. Your preference on these items will vary depending on your skin. For example, I haven’t personally had much luck with the Billie V Smooth shave gel, but I loooove the Brazilian Bare Tropical Coconut Extra Moisturizing Shave Syrup. Tree Hut is another popular brand, but their products are very fragrant.
Finally, if you use a shared shower or bathtub, please, bring a cup to clean up after yourself. Nobody wants to go to the showers to cry after an exam just to slump against the wall and come face-to-face with your pubes. Gross. Just fill the cup with water, and rinse away all the hairs.
The Method
Your first step is to prep: Make sure you’ve got plenty of time. You don’t want to do this in a rush. Begin with warm water in the shower or tub. You’re probably going to want to do your other shower things first, and let the water soften the hair and skin of your pubic area. Going in dry with the coarse pubic hairs is a one-way ticket to irritation station.
After that, you’ll want to use that optional shaving aid and lather it onto the pubic mound , outside of the labia majora, and on top of the labia majora, if you grow hair there (remember, all bodies are different, so there is nothing wrong with where you do or don’t grow hair). I would suggest you avoid putting shaving aid on or inside the labia past the labia majora.
Using your razor, begin with short, soft strokes going with the grain of the hair. If you’re standing and looking down, this means pulling the razor down, away from your face. Continue over the whole area, rinsing, reapplying shaving aid as needed, and cleaning the razor. Be gentle and avoid jerky movements to prevent cuts.
Next, you’ll shave sideways to get those remaining stragglers. Do not shave against the grain on the pubis mons, as it’s likely to lead to irritation.
After this, we will require a bit of flexibility and dexterity. In order to properly shave the hard-to-reach areas of the labia majora, you will either need to sit on the ground with your legs spread as far apart as possible, or stand with one leg propped up on a wall or ledge. This will allow you to maneuver your razor in and around those little crevices without nicking the soft, delicate skin we have down there. Use your fingers and hands to move your skin around and reach those little crevices.
Finally, you’ll rinse the area — and your shower or tub. (This is a kindness to whoever may visit next.) Be sure to also clean your razor and store it someplace dry.
Aftercare
After your shower, apply the astringent to a cotton pad and lightly cleanse the shaved area. Then do the same with moisturizer. The astringent calms irritated skin and hair follicles to help reduce irritation, while the moisturizer protects the extremely sensitive skin that we just irritated with friction by shaving.
For any extra bumps, ingrown hairs, or just a few extra hairs that didn’t want to leave, use your fine point tweezers and small scissors for extra trims and removals.
The scissors and tweezers are going to be your friend during the grow-out period, when ingrown hairs will start to become more apparent. This area can be trimmed as desired by standing over a toilet or in the shower. Just be sure to clean these areas and after every use.
Et voilà, your hairless cat is ready to roll! This guide is ideal for those who prefer the bald look, but you can fashion these techniques to work for your preferred grooming habits and pubic hairdos.
