Aren’t you tired of eating the same food again and again, every single day? After months of eating the same chicken burger again and again, I sure am. If the human body had a “stomach wrapped,” my stats would probably look something like this:
Your Top Meals:
- Orange Chicken over Fried Rice (from the Pit)
- Pizza. An inordinate amount of pizza. (from the Pit)
- Chicken Sandwich with a mountain of cheddar and lettuce (from the Pit)
- The Philly’s Steak Sub from Rocky’s (it’s legitimately good?!)
- idk, a bunch of redbull. Or, if we’re counting liquids, I suppose it would be water.
And it would probably say something like, “your most eaten food was… chicken!” Before showing me the “Artist’s Message” — horrifying clips of the boatloads of chicken murder that I’ve inadvertently supported.
(I don’t eat at Douglass nor Danforth anymore because whenever I go to those places, it makes me feel like I’m in a science experiment for how much stale, crunchy rice I can endure before I decide I’ve had enough.)
I’ve long since started getting food from off-campus (E Suki and Taichi my beloved), but recently I’ve considered giving campus food another try — this time, on my own terms.
Under the suggestion of CT’s one and only editor-in-chief, I marched to the Pit and got the following:
- Chicken tikka masala from the Wok
- French fries from the Grill
- Tomato basil soup, and
- A side of lettuce from the salad bar
Like a wizard conjuring a potion, I threw everything together and mixed them up. At some point, I imagined Gordon Ramsey praising my newest creation and, when I came out of my trance, the dish was fully complete. I dubbed it “Manifest Destiny,” a play on its incorporation of East to West. Here was my review of it, written while I was actively eating this new concoction:
First, the overall look. It actually looks pretty decent — edible, even! As for the taste: The chicken masala overpowers the entire plate with its almost stringy and slightly mushy texture, seamlessly combining with the french fries to create an almost otherworldly chicken and mashed potato hybrid. Normally, a chicken salad would have somewhat solid chicken and mushy potatoes, but here, the solid parts are the french fries, while the mushy part is the chicken! To top it off, the tomato basil soup adds a slight tangy taste to everything, bringing the flavor to new levels. In comparison, the salad adds a twist into the works, as it refreshes the consumer’s palate.
Finally, the overall rating: I feel like a new person after eating this dish. My brain waves were reset, and my eyes were fully opened. I realized the power that we as consumers hold over the iron fists of our corporate dictators. While they use their advertisements and products to force us to buy into their tiny niches, they have no power over the final and greatest of human freedoms: the power of self choice and attitude. At the end of the day, only we can choose how we interact with the world. And I choose to revolt against the norms of food and culture. With “Manifest Destiny,” the East and West will no longer be separated by borders. With “Manifest Destiny,” we stake our own ground as consumers, no longer bound by the shackles imposed upon us. I hereby rate this dish:
6.5/10. Innovative and idealistic, but the taste needs work …
