Katy Perry couldn’t be bothered to write a single eloquent verse on her newest album, so I’m going to match her energy by skipping the flowery introduction and getting straight to the point: “143” is complete and utter garbage.
When the first lead single “WOMAN’S WORLD” released with a music video so tone deaf it bordered on accidental satire and with the lyrical skill of an eight-year-old, fans and critics alike started fearing the worst for the quality of the full release. Perry suffered another blow in the public eye when listeners discovered that Dr. Luke — a veteran music producer now known more widely for the accusations of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and emotional abuse brought against him by Kesha — would be a major contributor to the project. The irony of an album that’s supposedly inspired by the strength and beauty of women being co-written and produced by an abusive misogynist was immediately evident, and his involvement only further dampened the hype around “143.”
I don’t want to talk about Dr. Luke, though. As gross as he is — as hypocritical as Perry is for branding herself a feminist and working with him anyway — I want to focus on the grossness of the album itself.
Sonically, “143” wants desperately to be a chic-yet-campy throwback to The Past: It takes heavy inspiration from musical trends of the ’90s, 2000s, and 2010s in the hopes that nostalgia-induced deafness might distract audiences from the fact that the album has absolutely nothing to say. It doesn’t succeed. The best way I can describe the general vibe is that it’s reminiscent of a soundtrack you might find in a special episode of a children’s show, in which songs have been shoehorned in for a newly-introduced popstar character to sing. From start to finish, it is a hodgepodge of boilerplate pop-trap, poorly-emulated Eurodance, and butchered samples of songs that are actually good — how a team of industry veterans managed to make an offensively forgettable track (“I’M HIS, HE’S MINE”) while sampling Crystal Waters’ “Gypsy Woman” is beyond me.
Perry’s comeback project opens with “WOMAN’S WORLD,” and unfortunately, it’s not the type of song to grow on you after a few listens. After three torturous minutes comes “GIMME GIMME,” the first non-single and first collaboration of the album. It features 21 Savage, who sounds like he’s being held at glittery gunpoint by Perry as he delivers some of the most uninspired bars of his career, such as “I’m like Amazon, ‘cause I got what you need” (the lyrics get even worse, as I’ll discuss later on). “GORGEOUS,” featuring Kim Petras, caps off the first portion of “143,” and I’m convinced the only reason it exists is so that Perry and Petras can start off the song by saying “KP, KP” — so cute! It’d be even cuter if the song had an actual hook instead of the word “gorgeous” sandwiching very, very painful white-girl rap.
From here, the album really leans into its attempts at “retro” vibes: First with the aforementioned “I’M HIM, HE’S MINE,” which sports a Doechii feature that’s just shy of compelling, and then with “CRUSH,” the worst song on the album by far. Every song on “143” is arguably terrible, but the combination of juvenile rhymes, weird production, phoned-in vocals, and lack of general substance shove this one into last place for me. “LIFETIMES” stumbles forward and seemingly attempts to pay homage to the sound of Perry’s prime, but does so without the pep and edge that made her successful in the first place.
The rest of “143” is downright unremarkable (“ALL THE LOVE” is alright, actually, but I wouldn’t call it good). It follows a pattern most listeners will likely pick up on by track three: bad writing, soulless instrumentals, and a total absence of passion. The bad writing is, in my opinion, the album’s most technically heinous quality, so here are my top ten least favorite lyrics:
#10: “Da Vinci, Da Vinci my body / He wanna come to the party / I told him it cost him a yachty” — Probably not much worse than your average bar on a C-list rapper’s filler track, but still disappointing on such a self-hyped album. Oh, this was Kim Petras’ contribution to the track? I get it now.
#9: “She’s a flower / she’s a thorn” — Modern woman pretty but also … strong. Modern woman, so deep. Many layers to this. Very inspirational.
#8: “I been developin’ truth / I took a bite into the bitterest forbidden fruit” — We’re just saying words now. Sure, Katy, you sure did!
#7: The entirety of “CRUSH.” Unfortunately, you might just have to listen to this one to get what I mean.
#6: “Behind enemy lines of animation / Scribbled upon a page, we’re stuck in a simulation” — Suddenly, Katy remembered: She’s a grown woman who knows big-kid words! She’s struggling to grapple with this revelation, so JID steps in to rap these lyrics for her.
#5: “You’re creepin’ in his DMs / I’m sleepin’ in his sweatpants” — Katy Perry is about to be 40 years old and she’s stealing lyrics from washed Minecraft youtubers (but changing it a little bit so the teacher won’t know she copied)!
#4: “Stay free, little Daisy (woah, woah) / Don’t let the envious ones say that you’re just a weed” — The worst forced analogy on the album, and trust me, that is an impressive feat. It’s a reference to Daisy, Katy’s daughter, but it sounds juvenile and dumb so I don’t care.
#3: “Say the right thing, maybe you can be / Crawlin’ on me like a centipede” — Why on earth would you want to evoke the image of a centipede when you’re trying to be seductive, Katy? Has Katy Perry seen a centipede before?
#2: “It’s gettin’ closer, I’m closin’ my eyelids” — She needed something that rhymes with “silence” and she (almost) found one! Short, sweet, and so, so, stupid-sounding.
#1: “I’m just a prisoner in your prison” — No notes, queen.
Apparently, these lyrics are the best that Perry has to offer at this critical moment in her career. I imagine it’s been difficult for her, watching her former peers continuing to flourish: Rihanna an ever-beloved, business-savvy billionaire, Lady Gaga an accoladed actress who balances filming with recording chart-topping singles, and Taylor Swift a worldwide sensation at the peak of her popularity — all while she spends her days frequenting reality tv shows and Vegas residencies. To me, “143” feels like it was born from a desperate plea to return to that realm of prestige and stardom, far more so than a genuine desire to create music, and that intention translates all too clearly.
I wish I could say I respect Perry for trying, but her total lack of respect for music, her fans, and herself makes it impossible for me to do so. I fear it’s time for the former pop princess to turn in her crown and march her ridiculous robot-legged, bikini-clad self back to her “American Idol” spinny chair, where her capacity for harm to the general public can be mitigated.
