The Catholic Times is proud to introduce our new fiction serial, “The Catholic Times Presents,” which will feature history’s greatest novels in weekly portions. Here is “Ulysses” by James Joyce, part I of MMMCMLVI:

 

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

—“Introibo ad altare Dei.”

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called out coarsely:

—“Come up, Kinch! Come up, you fearful jesuit!”

 

Find Part II of MMMCMLVI in the next edition of the Catholic Times.

 



In Memoriam, Freddy D.

Months went by. Freddy D. seemingly disappeared from the minds and memories of many. Then one day, I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment.

Weeding out space problems

The administration is using gated up rooms in Spurrier and Todd Union for the cultivation of high-quality recreational marijuana.

Bird Flu? I sure hope they did!

We asked her if she’s ever seen one of these species fly before, when they wanted to, of course. Duck let out a nervous chuckle and flushed bright red, fidgeting in her chair.