Don’t have the money to go to a water park? Don’t worry, just step outside and onto campus! The splash park that awaits you is one near impossible to beat.  You may think that a place with almost constant precipitation should have a good draining system, right? Wrong. After six months on campus, I have determined that Rochester is prone to puddles. 

Going to school in Rochester means you prepare yourself for the clouds and winter weather. Nobody warned me, however, that I would be living with chronically-soaked socks. Some puddles are visible, like those on the steps of Dougie (how the fuck are there puddles on stairs? I don’t know), but others, to my chagrin, are hidden. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been sneak-attacked by a puddle on my treks across campus. A puddle. Just a few weeks ago, I was assaulted by a sneaky puddle outside the GAC in my crocs. My poor socks were soaked. 

I can deal with the snow and ice here, but I’ve drawn the line at puddles. I have learned that the line between me becoming a feral raccoon and staying an academic weapon is just about the size of a tiny puddle. I’m afraid of the puddle-palooza that awaits us once spring arrives. Soon, I fear that campus will become one giant puddle, and maybe one day become part of the Genesee.

Tagged: it's wet


I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story

Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with?

This is not a joke.

This is not a joke. This is no laughing matter. It’s not intended to be funny or perhaps even humorous. I’m serious in everything that I’m saying right now.

BREAKING: Campus Times staff resigns seemingly all at once

This schedule was interrupted Sunday March 30, when seven elected staff members suddenly declared their immediate resignations from the newspaper.