Editor’s note: Normally, the Campus Times doesn’t publish poetry. But these works were so moving, we felt it would complete our image as a morally emaciated, corrupt media outlet to withhold these from the public. Don’t get us wrong, we still are, but at least now we have poetry. Enjoy! 

 

A Precipitatory Limerick 

I was on my way to The Pit,

Wet pavement, my food and I bit.

     The next day I snooped,

     Right after I pooped,

My god, there’s a worm in my shit!

 

 

Rainworm rhyme

My name is Worm,

I like to squirm.

And when it rains,

I lose my brains.

I leave the ground,

Slick sidewalk bound.

I like to wriggle

And make kids giggle.

 

Epitaphium Lumbricus

Just yesterday,

A man walked by,

Who did not mean to make me die.

Without a look,

He trampled me,

And did not even even stop to see,

That now I’m dead,

From his wet boot,

Without so much as a salute.

You saw my death,

And yet stood by,

It did not even make you sigh. 

What does it mean,

To be a worm?

It means your life is quite short term.

Tagged: poetry Worms


Free the monkeys

These poor creatures were being experimented on to learn calculus, neuroscience, electrical circuitry, and art. They were staying up until 4 a.m. trying to figure out how to complete these wild assignments.

Getting touched by the boogeyman

At the tender age of 18, I was horribly frightened by such stories. After all, I didn’t want to be taken away to the dark lands by the Boogeyman.

UR College Republicans protest Trump admin’s threats to free speech

"College Republicans around the country have spent the better part of a decade professing their absolute commitment to free speech, so why would we be silent now?" said the president of the club.