The Supreme x UR Optics collab, the Yellowjacket-Machina Laser, drops Dec.r 21. According to University President Sarah Mangelsdorf, this has been in the works for some time now as an initiative to get more students to study optical engineering.
The Yellowjacket-Machina laser features a classy gold lining on the outside, with a titanium-garnet crystal core to emit a powerful beam of light. The Supreme logo is decked out in ruby, because of course it is. The power supply has been juiced with lemons (kinda like a middle school science fair) to give electrons a powerful charge to force them to the highest quantum-power, delivering a bolt of energy that rivals the Death Star. Make Rush Rhees your Alderaan. Like the Death Star, it has a small hole the size of a yellowjacket leading straight to the power-core. If a yellowjacket were to ever actually touch the core, the laser would explode. Also, there’s a monster in one of the garbage cans. The Yellowjacket-Machina will cost interested buyers $120,000,000 dollars — but if they miss the drop, experts on StockX™ expect a resale price of $100,000,000,000 dollars.
Optics professor Lee Aser only had positive things to say about the laser’s design, talking about what this will mean for the field and hypebeast culture. “Just imagine how much attention and prospective learners this will bring to UR Optics,” Aser said, “Not only will our students still graduate with a guaranteed job, but they will be able to say ‘Respect the drip, Karen’ with confidence.”
There has been a bit of tension between the optics and physics departments following the release of the laser’s design. Theo Reticalman, an associate professor for the physics department, helped work on the lasers’ design in the beginning and said he feels that the department’s suggestions on the laser were ignored. “Everyone knows it should have featured Quad Fox,” commented Reticalman, “If you truly want to rep UR, you go with Quad Fox.”
Supreme declined to comment on the brewing tensions but did say that all they need to do is slap their logo on the laser and it’ll be fine. A Supreme representative said, “We sold a brick; I think we can sell a laser.”
The optics department and Supreme are also going to be releasing a suave blue and gold mini-laser pointer that will drop with the Yellowjacket Machina. The laser-pointer will be produced at a cost of $6 (don’t worry about how they pull that off) with a projected resale price of $400. The laser is said to be perfectly designed for pointing at the Genesee Hall window from Susan B. Anthony Hall, and at random students passing by at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night.
Keep your eyes peeled: The Supreme x UR Optics’ Yellowjacket Machina will be coming to a Math 160 series 8 a.m. exam near you.
