1. In an interview with GQ magazine, “Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarborough said that he is currently working on a Donald Trump musical. The musical will be based on portions of Trump’s autobiography, “Mein Kampf.”

2. California has banned sex for killer whales kept in captivity. In response, moviemakers are casting for the new installment of “Free Willy’s Willy.”

3. The other day marked National Cheeseburger Day, or, as it’s called in the cow universe, “Say Goodbye to Your Loved Ones Day.”

4. A woman released a picture of her ultrasound scan that looked strikingly like a bunny. So while we all saw her kissing Santa Claus, we all know she saved a little extra for the Easter Bunny.

5. Oxford Dictionaries is on a quest to find the world’s most unpopular word. My vote is on the word “crumbs,” because it’s always by itself at the lunch table.

6. The Centers for Disease Control reported that adults are more likely to smoke marijuana than their kids—because smoking their kids just doesn’t get them that same high.

7. In an interview on the Dr. Oz Show, Donald Trump admitted he wanted to lose 15 pounds. Trump plans to lose the weight by running circles around those tax return questions.

8. President Obama’s approval ratings have recently hit a new high. Meanwhile, the second presidential debate took place yesterday.

9. A dozen hostages were saved after a British sniper killed four ISIS operatives with a single bullet. In other news, ISIS leaders have banned the traditional pre-execution Conga line.

10. Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady is expecting a prolific return this week against the Cleveland Browns, who won’t be competing at all this season.



Dinner for Peace was an unconventional way of protesting for Palestine

The dinner showcased aspects of Palestinian culture. It was a unique way of protesting against the genocide, against the Israeli occupation, against the university’s involvement with the genocide.

UR Softball continues dominance with sweeps of Alfred University and Ithaca College

The Yellowjackets swept Alfred University on the road Thursday, winning both games by a score of 5–4.

Time unfortunately still a circle

Ever since the invention of the wheel, humanity’s been blessed with one terrible curse: the realization that all things are, in fact, cyclical.