It was pretty shocking the other day when I read the news and saw that Putin probably killed an ex-Russian-turned-U.K.-citizen special agent. I mean, I kind-of pegged him as the type of man who would retaliate when some poor bastard crossed Mother Russia, but who could’ve seen him as a murderer? He seemed more like an unfriendly neighbor who’d get in arguments about whether a lawn mower (or Crimea) was his. Nonetheless, if the British judge was correct, he’s a murderer.

Moving forward, the United Kingdom must be in a real awkward position. This has to be like confronting the playground bully about taking a single one of your chicken nuggets at lunch, when,  in reality, there wasn’t really anything stopping him or her from taking another. Out of curiosity, I Googled whether Russia will extradite. An answer was hard to come by, but I am pretty certain about how to avoid extradition to the U.S. if anyone’s previous crimes on trying to obtain free Douglass catch up to them. Either way, I feel like Putin will change the law if they try. They really should tread lightly, though. What’s stopping Russia from trying to take something from the United Kingdom rather than from Ukraine? Just kidding—the U.K. is in Western Europe, and I am sure the U.S. would respond to that.

Before any actions are taken, I think it also has to be noted that the killing occurred using a poisoned tea bag. This has to be seen as an act of hatred by Putin. First off, he killed a U.K. citizen. I mean, this probably can be easily excused. But then again, he did it using a tea bag. The only way I’d be more upset if I were part of the royal family would be if he used a scone, or some other food that the rest of the world doesn’t really enjoy because we found better alternatives (like muffins). This case is perfect for the person Sherlock Holmes is based off of—if he were still alive.



Please stop messing with my pants

It started off with small things. One morning, the cuffs of my pants were slightly shorter, almost imperceptibly so.

Whatever happened to the dormitories of yesteryear?

Two images come to mind: One is of cinder block-walled rooms hidden behind brutalist edifices, and the other is of air-conditioned suites bathed in natural light.

CT Wrapped: Top music of 2024

You listened, you voted, and the results are in!