Going home for break after a brutal semester was exactly what I needed following finals. I realized though that after a few days home, I really missed Rochester. The people, the campus, the hamburgers at Danforth (I’m serious about the last one, those things are fire) were calling my name as I sat trapped at my family’s Christmas party listening to my aunts and uncles argue about the smoke alarm going off because someone burned the turkey. While I sat in misery, listening to a slew of over-played, cliché Christmas songs, I couldn’t help but be inspired to combine my desire to be back in Rochester with the dreadful carols playing in the background. The result are new verses for what our love, the UR, will probably give to us back on campus.

“On the first day on campus, my true love gave to me / some Pepto Bismol after Danforth.

On the second day on campus, my true love gave to me / two fictional snow days.

On the third day on campus, my true love gave to me / three Gleason all-nighters.

On the fourth day on campus, my true love gave to me / four major changes.

On the fifth day on campus, my true love gave to me / five a capella concerts.

On the sixth day on campus, my true love gave to me / six Frat Quad parties.

On the seventh day on campus,

my true love gave to me / seven tunnel hookups.

On the eighth day on campus, my true love gave to me / eight fire drills.

On the ninth day on campus, my true love gave to me / nine free meals at Douglass. (Oh, wait, nevermind.)

On the tenth day on campus, my true love gave to me / ten Panda bowls.

On the eleventh day on campus, my true love gave to me / eleven Hillside rip-offs.

On the twelfth day on campus, my true love gave to me / a twelve minute line at Starbucks.”

In hindsight, break isn’t too bad. But I am also really excited to imagine every day past 12.



On the Students’ Association resolution

This SA resolution is simply another way to follow the masses by expressing their dismay for Israel and standing in solidarity with the radical Palestinian people.

Flirting with your hiring managers

If you’d allow me the pleasure of gracing the hallowed halls of your esteemed company, it would endear me greatly.

Notes by Nadia: I’m disappointed in this country

I always knew misogyny existed in our country, but I never knew it was to the extent that Americans would pick a rapist and convicted felon as president over a smart, educated, and highly qualified woman.