This is my second article inspired by an arbitrary word, so here goes nothing. I’m glad this word came up because I have an affinity for Asian culture, namely Japanese culture. Over the years, I’ve honed my chopstick abilities and have also learned some chopstick etiquette along the way.

I personally feel that chopsticks are pretty nifty tools. Their design alone makes it a pretty savory option when considering which eating utensil to use. You have the option of using them to pick up objects weighing a pound or less (unless you have amazing dexterity and finger strength), and soup is not a problem: just use your chopsticks. No wonder Asian countries in general boast smaller sized portions . If you had to use chopsticks to eat a burger with the works and a side of fries, you would be there for hours struggling with the burger. You can’t possibly eat a whole hamburger and fries in a reasonable amount of time. Here is my theory; many people may disagree with me, but just look at the portions offered in Japan and the tools they have to use. It just makes sense. Chopsticks severely limit what people can eat because they are inefficient and tedious tools.

I wonder how someone came up with the idea of chopsticks. You see, forks and spoons make sense to me. The goal is to get the food from the plate to your mouth. With forks and spoons, they are pretty convenient tools if this is the goal. You use the fork to pick up solidly large foods, such as steak or fish. You can then use the spoon to eat small or liquid things such as rice or soup. However, the chopstick is the “all-purpose” tool for moving food from plate to mouth, and yet it seems as though it drops the ball in fulfilling its duty as the “all-purpose” tool. It has been said that in Thailand and Philippines, forks were introduced around the late 19th century. How did these people survive as a culture up until then?

At this point, you may be saying “how about using your hands?” I am a person who hates eating with his hands. I don’t like to eat if I’m not able to use a fork or spoon. It is very possible that I would’ve died from starvation in either the Philippines or Thailand before the late 19th century because I’m so staunch in my beliefs that I would rather die starving than eat without a spoon or fork.

Call me whatever you want, but one thing is for certain: I don’t give a fork.

Chiodo is a member of
the class of 2017.



On chopsticks

As proud Americans, we often look down upon authoritarian governments for enforcing censorship on music, but under the Trump administration, free speech and the right to information is slowly but surely being squeezed from our grasp.  Read More

On chopsticks

Our regulations for privatizing articles align with our policies on source anonymization: If it’s deemed that publication may endanger the author, whether to retaliation, risk of verbal or physical threat, or fear of national level surveillance (such as the potential revocation of a VISA), the article will be removed.  Read More

On chopsticks

In my final weeks as the Publisher of the Campus Times, I am writing “The State of the Campus Times” — a report on the progress and challenges of our student-run newspaper — for the final time before handing the baton to the next Publisher. Read More