By Chris Horgan
April 15, 2015

I sent you to the hospital. Who knew burns could be so damaging? On top of this, they even suggested I poisoned you.

Your atmosphere is dwindling, I suppose that is my fault too. An apology will have no worth, since I let your garden wizen. As for the murder, that was me. Your snowman was a nice fellow, so I’m sorry you had to see him go. I hope you took a picture.

But let me shed some light on your troubles, because that is what I do. It isn’t easy being someone everyone looks up to, as I have flaws too. I shine so brightly, my flaws are invisible to you.

Answer: The Sun

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.

Chris Horgan is a member of the Class of 2017.
Boar's Head Dinner

Masked protesters disrupt Boar’s Head, protest charges against students
By Emmely Eli Texcucano on Dec 8, 2024
Protesters gathered in front of the Highe Table and urged the University to drop the criminal charges against the four students recently charged with second-degree criminal mischief, saying that the University’s response is disproportionate compared to other bias-related incident reports.
Albums

Top 10 worst albums of 2024
By Colin Jones on Dec 9, 2024
Although incredible music is released every year, so does terrible music.
culture

Teddy’s Travels: Ithaca, NY
By Teddy Almond on Dec 9, 2024
Obviously, every ‘Teddy’s Travels’ needs adventure, and after our unremarkable stay in Ithaca, I began to wonder if perhaps we would break the streak.