The first step to giving a good blowjob is to desire to please your penis-possessing partner.
I can’t emphasize this idea enough. There are plenty of mistaken reasons to give head.
For many, oral sex seems like the natural precursor to vaginal sex.
Oral sex uses an orifice of your body that wasn’t built for putting dicks in, making it all the more intimate. More importantly, and unlike many other sexual acts, it’s one directional. In order to enjoy it, you have to enjoy giving pleasure.
Do it to delight your partner, not because they expect you to or you expect yourself to, but because you want to give him a special treat. Wanting it is the first step.
Deciding you want to give someone head, however important, doesn’t really come with a sudden understanding of how to approach a penis with your mouth.
When going down on someone, it’s helpful to think of their genitals as a toy.
Not a toy to be used, thrown in a trunk and soon forgotten, but a cherished new toy – that you happen to only be allowed to play with using your mouth.
Now let’s move on to some more tangible advice. First: start slow.
You don’t have to immediately plop it in your mouth like a lollipop. Take it one step at a time.
The idea of simply stuffing your mouth with cock is of course intimidating, so don’t treat it that way. Build up to it by kissing it all around, first at the base, then up the shaft then the head.
In time, you’ll put it in your mouth. From here, there are a few things to keep in mind. People call it a “blow job,” but don’t actually blow it. People also call it “sucking dick,” but you don’t really want to do that either.
A little suction will help to keep some control, and that’s totally fine, but the action should be more like holding it in your mouth than pulling it.
One more big “don’t”: no biting!
Hopefully, you could have figured that you shouldn’t just chomp down on it (Cue universal cringe from the penis-possessing population).
But, more than just that, you should be aware of your teeth and actively protecting your penis-friend from their wrath.
If you aren’t used to this yet, it can be helpful to wrap your lips over your teeth.
Be warned though: keeping your lips like that will tire out your jaw pretty quick.
From there, it’s about two things: using your neck to bob your head, and using your lips and tongue to do some more subtle massaging.
It’s easy to forget about your tongue, but it’s a powerful and flexible tool, so use it. Remember that you can use your hands to assist you too.
Even just holding any part you can’t reach with your mouth can be nice. If you’re new to this, you probably shouldn’t let him do any thrusting. It can throw off your rhythm, and it could make you gag if you’re not ready for it.
You can largely avoid gagging by only taking a comfortable length into your mouth.
Rhythm will help too, especially if you align your breathing with your actions.
If you still struggle, try protecting your throat by keeping the back of your tongue pressed up against the roof of your mouth.
It’ll limit your range of motion, but it’s better than booting!
One last thing: practice makes perfect!
If you have any questions for me or have an idea for an article, you can message me anonymously at sex-thect.tumblr.com/ask.
Armstrong is a member of the class of 2016.
