I never understand why everyone is so happy for snow. For the seasoned veterans who have dealt with Rochester’s winters before, we know that when the first major snowfall rolls around, winter is here to stay. After conducting some research, I was able to come up with a useful formula for predicting how long Rochester’s winter will be for any given season. Let’s say that it snows in September. According to the formula I came up with, you would add nine months to that date. So, if it snows in September, winter should last until May at the latest. If the first snowfall is in December, add nine months and you get that winter ends in August. Trust me when I say that this system works.

Another thought. I have also wondered why the Olympics doesn’t just drop the pathetic sporting events like luge, ski jumping, and speed skating. Instead, they should replace those with more realistic events like windshield wiping and snow shoveling and have the games take place outside of the UR Dorms. I personally think this is a win-win situation. Think of the economic benefits. Each country participating in the Olympics is dumping billions of resources into an event that lasts a few weeks. The Olympics held in Rochester would cost next to nothing and it would put much more strain on the athletes. It would test their patience and will to win. Knowing how long the winters in Rochester last, the Olympics could be hosted months out of the year.

Chiodo is a member of
the class of 2017.



America hates its children

I feel exhausted whenever I hear conservatives fall upon the mindlessly affective “think of the children” defense of their barbarous proposals for school curriculums and general social regressivism.

Flirting with your hiring managers

If you’d allow me the pleasure of gracing the hallowed halls of your esteemed company, it would endear me greatly.

Conversations can’t happen in empty rooms. Join us.

It can be uncomfortable and deeply frustrating to hear people say things about these sensitive topics that feel inaccurate, unacceptable, and sometimes hurtful.