UR prides itself on its open curriculum, but future dentists will be required to enroll in an introductory astrology class in order to ensure that each student gets a well-rounded education.

“These students are working so hard on learning about specificities in science. It’s about time they took a break and learned a bit about pseudoscience. Students should brace themselves for the heavy course load,” said the new Astrology 101 professor, Starr E. Skye.

Skye also informed the CT that, upon completion of the course, each student will receive a plaque with his/her astrological sign on it and that year’s horoscope.

“Because, why not?” Skye added.

Students are unhappy with this new requirement. “I am not paying tens of thousands of dollars to learn about astrology, even if my horoscope is sometimes really accurate,” current dental student Joan Jones said. “The department has really struck a nerve with this one. I don’t need any plaque, either. Gross.” Classes will begin eventually.

Peters is a member of
the class of 2018.



We must keep fighting, and we will

While those with power myopically fret about the volume of speech and the health of grass, so many instead turn their attention to lives of hundreds of thousands of human beings.

Christmas has gone too far

People should look to other cultures to learn the truth of the cliche that holidays are about more than just gifts. 

Whatever happened to the dormitories of yesteryear?

Two images come to mind: One is of cinder block-walled rooms hidden behind brutalist edifices, and the other is of air-conditioned suites bathed in natural light.