Trying to get work done on a Sunday is as pointless as having the Doctor regenerate into a baby. The TARDIS would require a total makeover, and every character would have to attach themselves to booster seats before traveling through time. But who knows, maybe by the end of the baby’s tenure as the Doctor, everyone would be saying, “booster seats are cool.” Anyways, it’s beautiful outside right now and I have to write an essay. I’m starting to think I should have gone to college to become an English to English translator. It sounds silly because it is, but I could translate what someone said into what they really thought. For example:

First person: I used to be a soap addict.

Second: What?

Translator’s translation: He’s clean now.

I just came back from Wilson Commons with my friend Alphonse. They were selling Halloween stuff so we bought this reversible jacket and let me tell you, we were disappointed how it turned out. There was a cheap looking magician’s hat. I thought it would look good on Alphonse, but he doesn’t know how to do any magic tricks. Fortunately, nothing seems to stress him out. So if he struggled with a trick, he wouldn’t get angry enough to pull a hare out. We walked out of Wilson Commons and started heading to Phase. Alphonse thought it would be funny to walk underneath the clock tower and I haven’t seen him since.

Horgan is a member of
the class of  2017.  

Tagged: Chris Horgan


We must keep fighting, and we will

While those with power myopically fret about the volume of speech and the health of grass, so many instead turn their attention to lives of hundreds of thousands of human beings.

Conversations can’t happen in empty rooms. Join us.

It can be uncomfortable and deeply frustrating to hear people say things about these sensitive topics that feel inaccurate, unacceptable, and sometimes hurtful.

Students’ Association passes resolution on administration’s response to “wanted” posters, demands charges dropped

On Monday evenings, the Gowen Room is usually nearly empty aside from the senators at the weekly Students’ Association Senate meeting. But on Nov. 18, nearly every seat was filled.