1. Make Obama follow through with the change thing. Yesterday, I was at the Pit, and I was short 30 cents for my salad – where was Obama to provide the change? Also, change ObamaCare to ObamaCares – it just sounds less like caveman.
2. Instead of making students take the SAT’s to get into college, a student must watch Fox News and be able to write out on a sheet of paper the important points it presented. If, at the end of the exam, the student’s paper is blank, then the student can be deemed intelligent and therefore able to attend a top university.
3. I’d like to see a DNA testing of George Washington just to see if he was really the Father of our Country. Also, fix the vending machine in Gilbert, I swear that thing is anti-federalist because it never accepts any of my George Washingtons.
4. To increase voting turnout amongst teens, just develop a free app for smartphones that counts votes. Young voters can download the app and vote by either swiping left or swiping right.
5. Clear up the definition of a poll because it can cause misunderstandings. Last year, a company invited citizens to join them at their headquarters while they publicly released multiple polls. Sure enough, half a dozen strippers showed up asking for jobs.
6. Instead of having presidential candidates discuss their platforms during debates, why not have each candidate argue over which president they think was the best? This, arguably, would make it a true presidential debate.
7. What if, in politics, you could trade politicians or make substitutions like in sports? This might have made it possible for the Republicans to trade Mitt Romney as he flip flopped during the last presidential election. Or what if Obama drops the ball with something? I’m sure Joe Biden could step in and make up for previous mistakes.
8. I think kids’ television characters should be able to get into politics. Don’t you think Oscar the Grouch would fit well into the scene of politics? Then again, it would give the people who think that politicians are just puppets something to write about. Or if a party chooses Bob the Builder to run for president, and then Bob the Builder picks Dora the Explorer to be his VP. In this dynamic duo, Dora would first call upon her viewers to spot things like corruption in the House or a weakness in one of the three branches. Bob the Builder, can he fix it? Yes he can. Meanwhile, Swiper would steal some votes, and it would be up to Dora and Map to reveal the inequality in gerrymandering.
9. The Democrats don’t like the Republicans, and the Republicans don’t like the Democrats. Left and right politicians call each other out and nothing gets accomplished. What’s the obvious solution? Bring back the duel. Picture it. Two candidates who just despise each other pace ten steps in opposite directions. They quickly load their pistols and turn around. But instead of firing away, the first one to say something nice about their opponent gets to live.
10. They should have some more fun in the House. Instead of having people voted in, the elections should be held like an old children’s game. Every citizen in the U.S. should meet up in the Capitol building. Music should start to play in the House, and when the music stops, anyone who doesn’t have one of the 435 seats loses.
Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.
