On Monday, Sept. 29, California governor Jerry Brown signed into law a bill stating a clear definition of what constitutes sexual consent.
Essentially, this “yes means yes” law clarifies that a lack of protest before sexual activity cannot be equated to affirmative consent. By the law’s definition, consent can only be given with a sober, verbal “yes.”
In honor of this new law, even though it’s only in California so far, let’s have a quick discussion on consent, particularly in how it relates to our young, collegiate, often drunk lives.
I have very simple advice on this subject: if you’re drunk, don’t have sex. I know that seems like a lot to ask, but it makes sense.
Say you’re at a party, you’re drinking (let’s be real, you’re not just drinking, you’re drunk), you’re having fun, and you start dancing with someone. It’s instinct to want to take that dancing further, plus you’re drunk, so you’re excited and it seems like a great idea.
But you’re drunk. (I really can’t say it enough.) Under California’s new law, you couldn’t give consent if you wanted to, even though, man, you really want to.
Maybe you rationalize, “I know I’m drunk, but I also know that I want to do this,” so you ignore the part where you aren’t even capable of giving true consent.
But I’m pleading with you, do not give in!
For one, the sex probably isn’t going to be that good. Beware the horrors of whiskey dick!
And girls: don’t think you’re immune, your anatomy suffers with alcohol too. You might feel yourself running dry, and nobody wants that.
Plus, if you just met this potential hookup on the dance floor, you probably aren’t going to have the best chemistry. That takes time and communication, both of which are a struggle because, remember, you’re drunk.
But if you want sex and you’re tipsy, those arguments might not seem persuasive.
Still – don’t do it. And here’s my best reason.
While you feel like you can rationalize why you are okay with having sex despite your condition, are you really confident that you can make your inclinations clear to your dance-partner/lover-to-be? Are you confident that you can tell that they’re also ready and willing?
Maybe you’re too drunk to pick up on cues from them about their discomfort. Maybe you’re too drunk to realize that they’re too drunk. Particularly if you don’t know the other person well, how can you really know how they react to alcohol?
They could be plastered and you wouldn’t be able to tell if they’re acting differently than they usually do sober.
Imagine you learn the next day that your dance-partner/potential-lover was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember your night together.
Horrifying.
Even if they weren’t blackout, you wouldn’t want to hear them say to a friend, “Oh, I was super drunk, I shouldn’t have done that.” Not only is it terribly embarrassing to be in your position – having thought you charmed them into a night of fun and realizing instead that it wasn’t your charm but alcohol’s – but it’s also awful to know that that person was raped, and it was you that raped them.
So don’t put yourself in that position. That means don’t have sex when you’re drunk.
Flirt, get their number, and pursue it the next day. Maybe the excitement of courting them will help you get through that massive hangover.
Armstrong is a member of the class of 2016.
