Hola, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another Life, Love… Sport (Embarrassment Edition). It has been a big week in the world of sports. From the endless debates of how the Patriots should be punished and their subsequent wrecking-ball performance of the Chargers, to the Yankees-Red Sox race getting a bit too close for comfort to the Browns putting up 51 points for the first time since sometime in the ’50s and some intense college football games, this week had it all.
I’d like to talk about the Patriots for a second, if I may. I think people need to relax for a second. Every team cheats. Belichick was the only one to get caught. I don’t know if anyone has seen a NFL game lately, but there’s all sorts of cameramen standing around on the sidelines. You’re telling me that one of them isn’t paid by the home team to just casually train the camera on the opposing sideline? I think that’s crazy talk. Sure, I may seem a bit biased (and trust me, I most definitely am), but it seems to me that football is the easiest sport to cheat in.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the signals of the coaches calling the plays. And if Mangini was such a smartass, why didn’t he just change the signals halfway through the game? Sounds to me like someone is a bit upset about getting blown off the field for the umpteenth time.
Meanwhile, the Patriots went out and destroyed the Chargers. If anyone had any thoughts that Norv Turner is a good coach, this game may have killed them. He was awful. I don’t remember a single decision he made that worked. Plus, what is Shawne Merriman doing celebrating a tackle in the third quarter when he was down 17-0? How stupid was that? What exactly are you celebrating, you cracked-out, steroid-abusing nutjob?
As much as I don’t like to brag, it seems to me that the trade of Randy Moss for a fourth-round draft pick worked out better than that time that Family Guy opened at the Emmys. Tom Brady must be so pumped every single day. Which begs the question, why has it taken the Patriots seven years to make a trade for an impact wide receiver? Think of all the things the team could have accomplished with a Randy Moss last year. They would have been working on a streak of seven consecutive championships. It would have been an old-fashioned dynasty. Good times.
While we’re on the topic of football, can someone please explain why the Browns put up 51 points? No defense is that bad. There are teams that won’t put up 51 points in ten games this year (hello, Falcons). And this is after the Bengals shut down the Ravens offense, although one can argue that the Ravens offense is worse than a case of the clap.
Moving on to college football, this writer has a certain soft spot for the sport. Maybe it’s watching 90,000 screaming people influence a game in Alabama, or 110,000 fans sit in silence in Michigan when Appalachian State blocked that field goal, or that game in Florida where Tennessee looked like they forgot how to play, but something about collegiate pigskin gets me amped!
The LLS bandwagon team, the USF Bulls, did not play this past weekend. Their big matchup against West Virginia comes next weekend.
This week, I will give you a game to watch. Because I’m that kind. Please, hold your applause. Georgia visits Alabama on Saturday, with the Tide being three and a half point favorites. I don’t know how many of you saw the game against Arkansas, but it was a blast. Nothing gets the ol’ blood pumping like seeing every person in Alabama having massive heart failure in the last two minutes. Thank God they won the game, otherwise the population of the fair state of Alabama would have plummeted.
On a more personal note, I would like to thank all the members of the UR baseball team and coaching staff for being so great. If you didn’t know, I decided to try out for the team this past week. Unfortunately, I did not know about the copious amounts of running that were part of the tryout process and thus was greatly unprepared. My pitching line was (approximately, because I lost count): 1 IP, 5 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 3 HBP, 2 balks all on 40 pitches. Again, thank you for all the players and coaches that continued to encourage me in the deepest, darkest moments (that second balk comes to mind).
Final Fact:
Top English soccer club Liverpool was formed because their local enemies, Everton, couldn’t pay the rent for their stadium. Therefore Liverpool took over at the stadium (Anfield).
Maystrovsky’s article appears weekly.Maystrovsky is a member of the class of 2009.
