Life on a Stick' proves predictable

Stick a fork in it – it’s done. “Life on a Stick,” a recent Fox addition, is just like every other television show you’ve seen – that failed. Combining all of the elements that guarantee cancellation before the season’s over, “Life on a Stick” may appear humorous or at least watchable from the commercials, but after five minutes, you’ll be kicking yourself, hoping to render yourself unconscious to stop the pain.Zachary Knighton plays Laz, your typical, lazy high school graduate with nothing better to do with his time than talk to the french fries in the deep fryer at work. The show revolves around Laz and his “comedic” struggles to deal with the uncertainty of his own future and to mature along the way into a self-sufficient man. Do not be fooled, however, by the seemingly interesting and thought-provoking synopsis – there is no thinking involved with “Life on a Stick.” Rather than creating real characters that an audience can relate to in any sense, this show goes for cheap laughs – and still fails. After the first less-than-clever one-liner during the opening of the first episode, the faux audience laughter was so disingenuous and obnoxious that I was tempted to turn the television off and forget I had ever given this show a chance. Yet I cringed and decided to finish what I had started.Charlie Finn plays Fred, Laz’s longtime best friend. The lazy and dim-witted duo get jobs at a corn dog stand in the mall’s food court, hence the clever title of the show – get it? Yeah, well if you don’t – no worries, the rest of the show’s equally obvious and unintelligent humor seems geared more towards monkeys than people. I had to wonder why the fairly reputable actors Amy Yasbeck, otherwise known as Casey from “Wings,” and Matthew Glave, who has made many television appearances, ever signed on to star in the show. Perhaps even more annoying than the lack of originality or believability of the characters is the story line. Laz and Fred have no motivation to do anything whatsoever, yet Laz ends up dating the hottest employee at the corn dog stand, Lily, played by Rachelle Lefevre, because he defends her with his non-existent vocabulary and elementary grasp of the English language when she is attacked by their crude boss. Furthermore, Laz’s sister, Molly, played by Saige Thompson, plays the role of the angry teenager to add to the weak story line in an attempt to get a few laughs in at the awkward teenager who can’t get along with her parents. She feels like she just doesn’t fit in – just like half of the characters you’ve probably seen in any other TV show you’ve watched in the past 10 years.To be fair to the actors, the writing for the show is basic at best. I’m not a television snob – I love the uncouth humor of “Family Guy,” and I’ll be the first to run to the TV when “Scrubs” is on – but “Life on a Stick” literally insults my intelligence.I recommend that indecisive seniors especially should watch “Life on a Stick” Wednesday nights at 9:30 p.m. – you’ll feel a lot better at the end, knowing you will never waste your time and talent creating such a flop.Gray can be reached at kgray@campustimes.org.