Now that this new choice plan has spread across campus, administrators have decided to jump on the heavily ticketed and booted bandwagon and provide some choice for graduating seniors.

This May, members of the Class of 2001 will be able to decide whether their diplomas will be designed in a traditional style or in a new ?Proof of Purchase? design.

This new diploma, or receipt, as it will now be called, will come complete with a 90-day money-back guarantee.

In case your degree doesn?t yield a job within this period, you may return your receipt to UR as payment for your unpaid parking tickets, totaling $120K in early Y2K U.S. dollar value, before the market headed south.

Don?t like your new options here at UR? You could always leave. But that?s up to you.



I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story

Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with?

National Book Award Finalist Maureen McLane Comes to UR

McLane was a National Book Award finalist for her collection “This Blue,” her work merges past and present, drawing on ancient texts — notably Sappho fragments — a contemplation of how human experiences are mediated by encounters with language and literature.

Dedicated to everyone in the movie theater who laughed at “The Substance”

“The Substance”, though quite effectively campy and satirical at times, is not a comedy.