You have chosen wisely!!! Professors from the psychology department recently decided to give their students more choices on exams.

Complaining that the answers on psychology exams are too obtuse, freshman Pete S. Sake claims, ?They give you A through E as answers, but half the time, most of the answers are, like, all the same. They need to be more clear. I think they may just be messing with us, to be honest.?

In response to complaints such as these, all psychology students will be treated to questions with answers A through Q from now on.

With so many choices, there will never be any confusion as to what the professor is looking for. Whether anyone will be able to finish these new exams remains to be seen.

Realizing there may be something to this choice phenomenon sweeping the River Campus, Parking Services has decided to give students more parking options.

Sick of hearing students complain that there isn?t enough good parking on campus, one parking official noted, ?We really want to create a better relationship between Parking Services and students.?

If you think creating more parking options for students is a good idea, see Story E, Page 10.

If you think parking is fine the way it is, see Story F, Page 11.



Please stop messing with my pants

It started off with small things. One morning, the cuffs of my pants were slightly shorter, almost imperceptibly so.

Students’ Association passes resolution on administration’s response to “wanted” posters, demands charges dropped

On Monday evenings, the Gowen Room is usually nearly empty aside from the senators at the weekly Students’ Association Senate meeting. But on Nov. 18, nearly every seat was filled.

Hobbies and mediocrity: you don’t have to be good at everything

Writing became something I had to be good at in order to share.