Coming up with 12 horoscopes every week can get pretty boring. I mean, who really feels like writing about other people all the time? For this edition, I decided it would be more fun to write about myself. I happen to be a Leo, so everyone else whose sign is the lion got lucky this week, and everyone else is just screwed. It?s not like you matter anyway.

Leo (July 23?Aug. 22) ? You are the smartest, best-looking person to ever grace the face of this planet. Everyone secretly worships you, even if it seems like they think you are a pretentious snob. They are totally jealous, and just can?t stand how wonderful you are. Sigh. It?s not easy being perfect.

Everyone else ? Didn?t you pay attention to the comment at the beginning? You don?t matter as much as Leos do, because Leos rule the world.



Free the monkeys

These poor creatures were being experimented on to learn calculus, neuroscience, electrical circuitry, and art. They were staying up until 4 a.m. trying to figure out how to complete these wild assignments.

UR College Republicans protest Trump admin’s threats to free speech

"College Republicans around the country have spent the better part of a decade professing their absolute commitment to free speech, so why would we be silent now?" said the president of the club.

This is awkward: I have a full back tattoo of Kanye and Jay-Z passionately embracing

Last week, I was at the public pool, about to swim a few laps, but I couldn’t even make it through one without being relentlessly mocked for my tattoo.