Danforth
The downfall of the plateocracy
Now, forks are able to be reunited with families. Plates are able to go home after decades in the kitchen. Spoons are able to live life on the dry-side, no longer submerged in sloppily executed imitations of soups and sauces.
Ceasefire
Students gather in unregistered protest of administration’s alleged complicity in the war in Gaza
Speakers at the protest on campus told the audience that the “temporary ceasefire” was a reprieve, but that the “fight” was not over.
groundhog
Groundhog Day
as per the groundhog way of life, students will be required to return to their dorms immediately after the ceremony and hibernate until the first dandelion (a groundhog’s delicacy) sprouts from the ground.
